It was, perhaps, the innocence...

He was the kind of person she felt... that needed protecting. Sort of like he couldn't navigate his way thru the world on his own. Even though he was smart and somewhat motivated & accomplished... she still felt this motherly, protective side of her always sticking up for him.

Gawky, awkward, bespeckled, and shouting inappropriate things a la Turretts... she had the impression that he was the kicky little brother that all big sisters love to hate. Long ago, she'd known someone just like him. Hell... they even looked alike. And even though they only met a few times... she felt the same way about him... right from the beginning.

This time, it made her nervous. Because this time, there would be no room for error. The new rule of the day was to not let anyone get too close, and don't get too close to anyone. At work, that is. Or at school. Home was a different story, because even though she loved her apartment more than any place she'd lived in the last half-decade... she didn't feel like that was where her heart was. It was split between a rock and a hard place, 2500 miles apart, and each 1500 miles or so from her.

She avoided eye contact, she avoided going out of her way to say hello. And all of a sudden... she realized that people were asking "who's that girl?"... They wanted to know her! She's never been popular... but when she started shutting up long enough for people to ask who she was instead of her proclaiming it from the roof-tops... it created an air of mystique around her that she sometimes heard people whispering about from the opposite desks.

They all wanted to know about her trips; her school-work; her weekends. They held the door for her and bought her diet cokes.

She was flattered. She smiled. And she started to realize more than ever before, that she never wanted to protect that lil' guy after all... She just saw an innocence in him that she knew was lost to her a long time ago.

She's older now. Wiser too... she'll never let 'em see her sweat. And whenever she sees that innocence, she'll cherish it silently, she'll cherish it alone. Smile, pray, and thank God for helping her learn this lesson -- at least -- a little easier than the rest.