It's dangerous, I know...

But I've been thinking again.

My San Fran trip is making me really nervous. Not because of traveling, but because of taking face to face with Mister Wonderful.

There is a momentum of relationships. Think of jumping up and down on a trampoline. Now think of doing it with another person. If you're both jumping together, you can get so high... it's amazing. If you're jumping at different speeds and heights... it all gets messed up and either one of you quits, or else you re-synch until it's good again. My marriage was a quit situation. I want this to be a re-synch one.

The closer my trip gets, the more I know how hard it's going to be. Because there are so many things we both want and need to say... face to face. When we're together, it's hard not to feel on fire and like the world revolves around us. But there are things that need to be said. I know how he feels how he feels, and he's not going to change it for me. I don't want him to change for me. Still, a number of concerns have come and they can not be ignored.

It will be a good trip, with the caveat that we come to a solution on a few points,in order to move forward. That said... I'm looking forward to spending some time bonding. Perhaps my fears come from the fact that after wanting to be in Sunny California for the past two years, the initial bond is losing its grip and now is the time that the work really starts to make sure that we do move forward instead of dropping what is possibly the most positive relationship that ever crossed my path.

M.W... save a piece of pie for meeeee! I'll be there to-mor-row!