Y'know... I'm pretty pissed at myself about the laundry right now. Did the laundry at M.W.'s house before I came home from the Golden State.. you know, to save time. I f - ing ruined my favourite sweaters on planet Earth, ever! They were perfect, thin, and comfortable... flattering and gorgeously coloured. And I'm an idiot!
It was almost the end of me...
There's a small chance I'm being melodramatic... but my plane almost didn't land into SFO the other day. A mechanical glitch. That's a terrifying feeling. I pulled out my pen and scrawled this in my notebook, in case it really was it:
I love M.W.
I love Mom
I love Dad
I love Jayleigh
I love Jarrod
It seemed weird to me at the time, that I didn't feel the need to say anything more... but I didn't. Once upon a time, there was this song and it proclaimed the need to not live the kind of life that makes one stay awake at night, fretting it. So from day to day, the best one can do is to live and love without regret. If that should really have been the end... I have to say that instead of being terrified, I felt the oddest sense of "I can't do anything, so why be upset?" peace. Now it scares me... but at the time, I really wondered what it was going to feel like, to die.
Bottom Line
God really does take care of us. And in times of being scared witless... He gives us peace. When I thought I might die, He gave me rational thought to say just one more time, the thing I never feel like I'll ever say enough.
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