Dzihan & Kamien...

They have a trancey tune called "Smile" which I love to veg-out to. I've known it only for about 4 years. However it reminded me, as I was listening to it just now... about this pizza joint that was on my way home from work when I lived in Detroit.

The name of the place was Fat Tuesday, but they were sued over the name, and consequently renamed themselves "Fatty's" later on. It was a gross name, but their pizza, salads, pastas and subs were phenominal.

Detroit was the first time I lived more than a few minutes from Home. While it afforded me the opportunity to finish college and get away and start my life, my way... it also hindered me in a way I never expected: my ex and I had only been married for a couple of years and this was his first job out of college. He became terribly depressed and was always sleeping, eating, and spending money we didn't have.

Looking back, I see that my only defense at the time was that I also spent our free cash, just so that he wouldn't get it. His shorting our income made me greedy to do the same thing -- because if we ever had free cash and he knew about it, then he would end up pouting until I allowed him to spend it on something for himself.

The new book I'm reading, called "Not Your Mother's Divorce" is helping me to realize how young I was back then, and how I didn't really know what I was getting into. But then how did our parents know that? They all got married in their 20s.

A Term I Despise:
Starter Marriage.

That was a term used liberally in this new book. I never intended for it to end. That's just the kind of girl I am. So how can they make it seem like it's a first car, or a fixer-upper house? This is my damn life, and my first marriage was a disaster! I don't want anything to begin that way. Certainly not the start of my married life.

So now that I'm single, the only thing to do is mourn my personal losses, get over them and get on with my future.

A future, I might add, which I am very excited about :)