A Poetry Review of Flux Divergence

Haiku gradient
Flux Divergence equal when
flux in is flux out

Fick's First is flux grad
Second is divergence, yah?
It's time-rate-of-change

Bowen ra-ti-o
Sensible Heat Flux versus
Latent Heat Flux: growth
(the growth of the BL depends on this ratio)

I Can't Effing Believe I Did That!!!

That loving, loving man I call my boyfriend is in Japan and I totally had a melt-down over a couple of stupid things this morning that are creating jealousy in my life.

I blew up because his house is riddled with signs of ex girlfriends - a random note under a stack of magazines, a lipstick-kissed envelope in a book, a picture taken in Vegas. So I came home from work, checked my email, and then got a box and "sanitized" his house.

And while I was putting all of the notes and pictures in what my family has endearingly called "The X Files" for years (mom's is full of pictures and gifts from me and ex-boyfriends-a-plenty), darling Othello was IM'ing me all the way from Nagano. He logged off before I stopped having my hissy-fit and checked my messages again.

Othello misses me too. He said so. And I'm sitting here crying my eyes out, rueful of the day I was born, missing him bad. In case anyone missed it ... here' s a news-flash: I have fallen deeply in love with this man. The "take-your-breath-away" kind that keeps you up at night, hoping against all hope that your undying love is reciprocated in some way.

Peace, love, and thanks for listening to my latest screw-ball attempt at being an adult.

Dot.

I haven't slept in a million years and I haven't eaten since 6 o'clock last night. Four a.m. sucks no matter if you wake up then, the party is just getting good, or if you are on the long side of a 10 hour overnight shift.

My personal life is in shambles, but I have more hope than ever, for the future. I am certain of what I have to offer. I am certain that I will be alright. You wonder why the ambivalence? Because I don't really trust myself after all of this time.

What happened? I fell in love. I got married two years later. Even then, I was only 20. Now I'm 30 and for the past three years I've been trying to convince myself that this hasn't all been a big mistake.

Today I will take a second load of boxes to my new apartment. My friend is bringing some furniture this morning as soon as I leave the office. The apartment manager said about me yesterday after I told her I was leaving home "I know the look... a lot of us have been there before."

Then please tell me why I feel so alone?