Whichever Way the Wind Blows...

That old Dylan song has a line in it "You don't need a weatherman, to tell which way the wind blows"... I kind of feel lately, like I'm just blowing around whichever way the wind blows.

I saw M.W. the other day. It was a meeting for the professional society to which we both belong. We knew that we were going to see eachother, so it was not a surprise. In a way, we wanted to "try on" how it felt to see eachother, in a professional environment. All of our friends were there -- some of them even brought their little babies. The ones who knew us and that we'd broken up were suppportive and offered a listening ear. Some of our friends expressed concern that we were still cordial, that we spoke like nothing had happened.

We went for dessert after the meeting and talked. It hurt my heart to not be able to talk with him, to tell him how I felt. And I think it hurt him too. So we had pie and really opened up. It got pretty raw, and it's amazing how much we both still love eachother. M.W. said he hates feeling like he is in Limbo. I told him that by breaking up with him, I was breaking out of that limbo... finally. I'm getting stronger.

Some days the winds are up... some days they're down. But every day that passes I'm feeling a little stronger about being alone, about my path in this big bad world.