'Dat girl's got swagger!

In speaking with my counselor over the last several sessions... I AM the strong woman that I admire... The knowledge and drive is there and ... can actually get all of the stuff done, that I dream of.

So what's the dealio? Why can't this Dorothy-gal see that? Oh wait... because she is ever-self-critical. Her supporters all say she's da-bomb. But she refuses to see it.

You might be wondering at this point... "What did Dot do, that was so awesome?" I did something this week. I did it and I wasn't afraid! I, Dorothy Gale told Othello what is needed for the relationship to reach the next level.... I told him and didn't back down. Frankly this girl's getting restless and bored. If there is no future with O, I'd rather move on.

The problem? He's my best friend and I don't want to move on. So the only solution was to tell him how I felt and ask if it was time to give up. He said "hang in there for me".... and "keep your faith" and such.

Confidence and strength, po-tweet, that's swagger!

A Poetry Review of Flux Divergence

Haiku gradient
Flux Divergence equal when
flux in is flux out

Fick's First is flux grad
Second is divergence, yah?
It's time-rate-of-change

Bowen ra-ti-o
Sensible Heat Flux versus
Latent Heat Flux: growth
(the growth of the BL depends on this ratio)

Build Me Up Buttercup....

The terrible dreams of my coworker were tormenting me to such a degree that I've been seeing a counselor. It *so* sucks baring my soul to a woman that I don't' even know. It's hella low-rent when you feel like you're going against your own grain: Because I'm nice to everyone and try not to complain... my counseling sessions are me talking myself out of my own fears.

Why does she get paid for this??? Haha.

It's a Bird... it's a Plane... no, it's Cycle-girl!

It's bike commute month in Sacramento. I pledged over 200 miles and have already gotten in 90 of them. Last year I pledged just 200 and it was really hard making myself do over 10 miles a day. Now I'm doing 20 miles per day and I'm feeling really good.

Probably I'm heavier than I've been in a while, and yet I'm healthier too. I work out like a fiend, my cardiovascular health is good, I'm strong and happy - generally.

That thing with my coworker who threatened to shoot us? He's still on administrative leave. I haven't been sleeping. CLass is hard.

Newsflash:
I'm planning a trip to Argentina in 2010. There is going to be a full solar eclipse in the dead of winter there. I'm so excited! I'm going and I'm taking my baby!

Go With What You Know!

What is that bible verse about trusting God and not your gut? You know the one ... it's something to do with the fact that emotions are fallible, but God's truth is something that you can believe in, even when you don't feel it....

Anyways, I think it's that way with relationships too. I've been incredibly stressed out lately, what with school and work stress. Every time I'm way-stressed at work, I start to think that something is wrong with my relationship with Othello. Even when he reassures me that things have never been better, I get all "jiggy" (his words) about us.

Those words - the ones that are escaping me, but their thoughts do not - have been immensely comforting to me these past few days, as I hold concerns about who I am and where I am headed. The fact is... I'm the same girl as ever... and the same circumstances behold me as always.

Othello is a total gem - especially when I'm too busy for everything. He did my laundry last week and cooked for us several times. I need to get used to the fact that even though we're not offically partners ... he's my partner and I look to him for support and friendship and love. It's nice.