Friday, March 30, 2007

GTN & BTN; a dichotomy of my ex-husband

In speaking with my former sis-in-law, the lovely and elegant Natalia... I've come to the realization that my ex, Nelson, was in fact, two people. The Good Times Nelson (GTN) whom I fell in love with and felt was my lifelong soul mate, and Bad Times Nelson (BTN) who systematically killed and then replaced GTN, permanently.

Natalia suggested that I mourn and grieve for what I lost. It's been 4 years now. But I have never grieved for the one who stayed by my side through melanoma... who made me dinner and gave me baths when I couldn't get up... the one who patted my back and encouraged me to live my life - "Viva tu Vida!" I would learn many years later from my good friend, Jose. Yes, Nelson was a good person. But he had a dark side.

BTN was envious of my accomplishments, embarrassed to be seen with someone so beautiful, who attracted so much attention. While he wished to fade away into the woodwork, I was tasked with doing all of the work. I grew up and he did not. I thrived and flourished and he did not. Now I am still thriving, and he is married to someone apparently old enough to be his mother. Who treats him like his mother. Bleh.

There are moments when I get all worked up and angry again. Now that I'm done with this post, it seems that my anger is mostly subsided. I think this is nearing the end. It is time for closure.

-Dot.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Yessssssss.

Oh girlie. I am so glad to read your words. You are a constant joy to my heart, my joie de vivre.

i love you, sis