Midwestern Values or Women Creating Their Own Glass Ceilings?

Yesterday we had a going-away party for Patty. She is a very capable woman in her mid 40s, who is bright and driven. Full of hard work, she exudes strength and family values.

Before the cake was cut, Patty felt compelled to mention the reason she is leaving. I find that this is a common reason for women in my line of work... and while noble and also while it is the same thing I would do... it is further... the same reason that men generally have longer and more successful careers than women: her family obligations were making her late for work.... and she felt badly about it. Patty felt like she was letting down her colleagues by having to drop off her daughter to school, pick her son up from practice... all while her retired husband was on the golf course.

Far be it from me to make a judgment on her husband - because everyone has their own side of the story. But it seems selfish. Patty went on to cite her Midwestern Values and Lutheran Upbringing as reasons that her guilt for not performing to her own standards, is so strong.

I wanted to walk up to her, give her a good hug, sit down and chat ... to encourage her. On the one hand, it broke my heart that yet another role-model for women in this man-filled office (70% of the execs, including Patty, are women), to guilt and family obligations. Girls... doesn't there HAVE TO BE A BETTER WAY than quitting? If so, I don't know what it is.

In all fairness, I know that when the day comes for me to pee on a stick, and it turns blue... I will make my family life come first. There is no hesitation in my heart about that. None whatsoever. But my fondest desire is to find an alternative to quitting, or stepping down, or pairing back on my duties.

Here's to the fallen, the ones who stepped down, the ones who (I fear) feel inadequate because they can't do everything. Ladies, I'd like to see a man be a "working mom". No... when I first started in this male dominated field, I was incredibly jealous - we all did the same job. I was even better than those guys most of the time (girls have to be, to make a name for themselves). They would go home to a clean house, dinner on the table, and a nice stiff drink in their easy-chair while reading the paper. I went home to dirty laundry and a bastard of a husband who expected me to pour him a drink, wash his socks, cook his supper and perform whatever else he expected his wife to do. My statement to them? Hey... I want a wife, too!

Here's to Chicks and their Careers. Live Long and Prosper!