Today, I woke up way too early -- after only 3 hours of sleep. Then I did a few things and went back to bed after cooking dinner. I didn't eat because I wanted to take the food to work overnight. So the phone and some thunderstorms woke me up and I ended up reading my email and received another inane letter from my S.T.B.E. Today, he continued to make demands and threats. I called him on the phone. We screamed. He emailed a nasty note. I emailed a note that was well-thought-out and not nice, in the least.
(Choir of Angels singing the Hallelujia Chorus)He called to apologize. Him. Saying he was sorry. The truth was that he just did not understand what I was saying, although I said it twelve ways from Sunday. This typified our relationship -- he would not understand me and then get "over the top" angry. I went from over-reacting to under-reacting during the span of my marriage. (Seriously, from freaking out each time we had a fight in the beginning... to rolling my eyes and walking away from him when he was threatening our lives with a gun. Okay, I didn't exactly walk away when he had the gun -- I called 911 without a second thought).
But anyways... he is not the most logical bananna in the bunch. And when the Choir of Angels kicked in, he actually apologized to me for misunderstanding. He called off the legal hounds, and has agreed to do things the way I suggested.
Still, he's a wreckless danger to himself, the way he gets an idea into his head and thinks that's the only way that life can exist, is to do things his way. Do you think, as individuals, that we might be that way sometimes?
So I was saying before that I got up in enough time to enjoy some lite television and dinner... but ended up having this hellacious fight. Then I called my best friend who is 1500 miles to my WNW... We prayed together for several minutes.
Ever get the feeling that you're not alone when you're praying? And not like Jesus is standing there either. There was this blackish blob in front of my eyes when I opened them up. It didn't really scare me, I just kept blinking and praying. If you've read "This Present Darkness" by Frank Peretti, then you'll know what I'm thinking about.
S.T.B.E. called me about 3 minutes after we were done praying. Praise God! That was one of the quickest answered prayers ever.
BTW.. I got registered for the GRE and found that I only have to take one portion of the exam. Therefore I can put all of my energies in that portion and not worry otherwise. What I really don't want to do, is to maybe just not do the writing section. I'm happy with my score and I don't think it's possible for me to do any better. I got a 5 out of 6.
And I was able to pay for all of this stuff that I needed to do, and still have enough for food this week. That's good... but it helped me to realize that S.T.B.E. was right when he said that he used to always have to "save" me financially -- He did, because in my puny, uneducated, immature mind... that was the only way to command him to be responsible, and at the same time, show me attention. Otherwise he ignored me most of the time. (snubbed me to the point where I wouldn't even hug or kiss him any longer).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment