Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Before and After...

There is a genre of music which I am given to... mainly sappy and sad love songs. I love them because it lets you know that someone else in the universe is where you are.... at least they were. And they made it through ... and so will I.

Before I ended my marriage, Train had a ton of songs that I would belt out in the shower and weep and scream to. I heard Lincoln Avenue tonight. Its meaning has kind of gone flat for me. Now I'm really into Tal Bachman (son of Mr. Bachman of BTO), and things like Chris Rice (whose song Naive makes me cry every time).

After I left my spouse... and I still thank God every day that I did... I've been swimming around in this river of feelings. Sometimes it levels me and I'm helpless. Sometimes I feel better than I have in ages.


On taking chances versus playing it safe...
So my boss wants to chat with me this morning. I did something that was pretty bad. Bad in a business sense. A big one. Not that I intentionally did it... in fact, it didn't even occur to me that what I was doing was wrong -- although it maybe should have?

---- so he wasn't all that upset... but I don't know how in the world anyone caught onto that page... Shrugs. Oh well. I'm not in that bad of trouble. Just have to be careful. I hate feeling like I used to feel when my rat-bastard former boss would yell at me. Like a non-entity. Ugh.

No comments: