Huge Scare yesterday and today:
It's the kind of thing that makes your feet sweat. Palms too. But seriously... know when you're riding in a car and someone cuts you off... you get that huge adrenaline rush and then you freak the heck out and your heart is pounding and then your hands and feet sweat?

Well, I wasn't even in a car. I was actually in bed, propped up on three pillows, reading a Dan Brown book Damn him that he writes so well I can't ever put his books down! I digress. I did put the book down momentarily and adjusted myself -- let's be frank.. I was in bed and wasn't wearing anything but a nightshirt. Anyways, I found a lump in my breast.

Holy freaking moley! This is the 2nd one I've found in my lifetime. The first one was a calcification and this time, after a frantic trip to the hospital for an ultrasound yesterday -- a trip, I might mention, to the very same hospital and radiography department where my soon-to-be former spouse works -- and an equally frantic trip to my fabulous doctor today, I found that my breasts are fibrocystic. In essence, the only thing that means, is that I already have tons of lumps in my boobies, and have to pay extra attention to any changes that I experience. But it scared the crapola out of me.

Add to that the fact that I was dodging my spouse at the hospital, that I called him to run interference for myself ("hey, I just wanted to let you know this is what's going on, so when you see my name on the patient schedule, you won't freak out and try to find me"), and the reason behind one wicked tension headache starts to come to light. He called me late last night and offered to get my the results this morning. He's not supposed to.. but come on ... he has my ssn and my name... he actually can get me the results. However it sucks royal booty that if I'd taken him up on it, said hello at the hospital, or even ran into him and broke down crying... everything I've worked so hard for at this point, would have been undone. See... when we're sick, we just want a friend. And all I wanted in the world last night was a hug. There were no hugs, because I really don't know anyone well enough here, to ask them to sit at the hospital with me.

That brings me to my new revelation -- I need friends.