"Hi, my name is Dorothy, and I'm an attention whore"
Have you any idea how I got myself here? I mean, to this place? I'm an educated woman. And I also have a history of being physically abused that goes back almost 17 years, to my very first boyfriend. Kids... that bastard raped me. I took nearly 10 years to fully admit to myself what happened, and that it was not my fault. The rage I needed to feel back then, was subdued by the fact that I wanted his attention, and his affection. (An interesting aside -- my then best friend married the best friend of the loser... she never showed me any support, and I'm still agog)

So I started counseling at the local women's center yesterday...
What is wrong with us, ladies? We view having a boyfriend as a kind of prize... then we stop talking to each other. My counselor pointed out this fact to me. She was totally right in my case. How many times have I said that I didn't like having women friends? How many women do I know that love their jobs in mostly-male fields? I am making me mad just thinking about what a total sell-out I've been to the female persuasion for almost 18 years!

Just to be sure
The abuse this time around was emotional. My counselor urged me to write our story... so I am. It really really hurts. But with God's help, I'll make it through.

FWIW
Sorry for being a jerk, girls. Really. I'm forever changed now. I always wanted to help young girls to realize that they needed to grow their own self-esteem and to never rely on a man for that... to make sure that women of all races and social standings have a fighting chance to not only be their own woman... but so that they never accept the just plain bad behavior that I'd been exposed to, even since my very first kiss.

Standby for me to continue evolving into the kind of woman that I have wanted to be all along.