A Happy New Year to All
And to all, a good night.

Not really. I'm actually working, still. NYE was my 10th wedding anniversary. My spouse called me in the morning, before I'd even left the office. That was a difficult call to take on several levels. The worst part is.. everyone says "Happy Anniversary". There was nothing happy about this one. Last year, things were in a state of tranquility at the Holidays. I suggested that we go to Cancun for our anniversary this year. He loves diving, and I wanted to do something nice. Know what? He never wanted to do anything. We hardly went anywhere, but what we could a)drive b)get back the same day or c)go fishing. So anyways, I thought of Cancun. He thought it was a great idea.. but the idea basically died that day.

Everything revolved around the money...
He never would sit down and budget with me. How I longed for him to come home from work early... even on time. But never. And he wouldn't even call. Then when he needed something (like eyeglasses), he claimed we didn't have enough. Not that we were ever truly poor in recent years. But think of this: I was not working for 6 weeks last summer because of a snatfu with a job-change. We lived nearly as well in that 6 weeks as previously. He worked constantly under the pretense that he wanted to give me everything I ever wanted. Pshaw!

So I'm not the best budgeter in the known universe... but we could have done it together. Instead, he would do things that I totally didn't ask for.. things that were frivolous and things i didn't want/need. It just makes me damn tired thinking about it.

Dating... Dating??? Dating!!!
So I've been gone for nearly 2 months and I'm starting to come out of that awful fog. But how do I feel about dating? It wouldn't be a far stretch to say that there is a true double standard for men vs. women in the realm of "after split-up" dating. A male colleague has been separated nearly as long as me... his friends have urged him to go on a date and he has. They're all supportive of him and eager to meet the new lady of his life.

Me? My mom wants me to get out and kick up my heels, but she admonished against dating before I've sorted things out. My "friends" (and by "friends" I mean "judgmental 'christians' with a little 'c'") are still praying for me to work things out with my spouse (which means they are waiting for me to "come to my senses and come back home"). Even my evil twin is warning me against dating too soon.

So then why do guys get to have all the fun?