Last Monday, I drove to his neighborhood in SF. Being unemployed in a big city, I was afraid that Lamar would have us sit around in his dank apartment for hours, and then try to kiss me goodnight (and fail, because I would not let him).
Where is my faith? What happened to my faith in humanity? Have I become so jaded that I forgot how to have fun? How to laugh, how to love? He cooked spaghetti dinner for me, and we shared the rot-gut wine that he could afford. Plus we went for a delightful walk in a tony neighborhood, got ice-cream cones and watched a movie and kissed for two hours back at his place. There were talks about trust, about desires for the future, and pledges of honesty.
Hours of phone conversations brought us through the week. Crappy luck between the two of us made for lots to talk about. A few conversations with my mom gave us more to talk about.
A mere 5 days later, Lamar trekked to see me here again. A number of things prevented us from seeing each other from morning to night (those damn freight trains!), so the dear man stayed overnight at my place. Such a gentleman this one! Swoon :)
Taking him to the train station, I realized that looking in his face, I can no longer see his colour as something unique about him. A number of times, I felt people staring at us. It upset him to the point of mentioning it to me several times.... I told him that it was simply because people saw us as a striking couple. He liked that... yay :)
Sharing a long walk, seeing friends and former dates at the coffee shop... we shared hopes, dreams, and became more invested in each other's lives.
Stay tuned for part of a love-note written by dear Lamar. Seriously, it's totally appropriate.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Oh My.... Lamar
Lamar walked into my life a little over two weeks ago. He is a tall black man and he finds me enchanting, captivating and irresistible. Fancy that. I find the same things about him.
Turns out we have the same capacity of intense passion, emotions, h ard work, etc. We've talked for hours, emailed at length about our goals in life. So much communication that on our first date, we decided to not talk for the first five minutes! Ha... it was so awesome! Just looking into one another's eyes and feeling all that we'd talked about was real!
There was quite a hullabaloo for him to get up here from the city on Monday... but he got here and was able to stay for 4 hours. I took him on my one-trick pony trick, and got my first kiss from him in the Capitol Rose Garden. Someone likened him to a young Sydney Poitier.
I am surprised and a little shocked at the reaction of my family.... Lamar is a wonderful British man who could not be more cultured. And yet my dear mother refuses to talk about him with me. I'm sure she'll work through her feelings eventually.
Greatfully, Jayleigh is the voice of reason (per normal). Without her, I would feel hopeless and lost. Thanks, J.
Turns out we have the same capacity of intense passion, emotions, h ard work, etc. We've talked for hours, emailed at length about our goals in life. So much communication that on our first date, we decided to not talk for the first five minutes! Ha... it was so awesome! Just looking into one another's eyes and feeling all that we'd talked about was real!
There was quite a hullabaloo for him to get up here from the city on Monday... but he got here and was able to stay for 4 hours. I took him on my one-trick pony trick, and got my first kiss from him in the Capitol Rose Garden. Someone likened him to a young Sydney Poitier.
I am surprised and a little shocked at the reaction of my family.... Lamar is a wonderful British man who could not be more cultured. And yet my dear mother refuses to talk about him with me. I'm sure she'll work through her feelings eventually.
Greatfully, Jayleigh is the voice of reason (per normal). Without her, I would feel hopeless and lost. Thanks, J.
New Place, New Shoes, Bye-bye Blues!
I moved across town to a nice neighborhood. Just reached up and opened the window to a sterling sky, birds chirping, fresh air and children laughing. Sans the bums.
The new place is a duplex. The next door neighbor is quiet. I am happy being a domestic goddess this week whilst I'm on vacation. Putting up curtains so that my peeping Tom can't get a peep.
I mean seriously folks. Almost wanted to go out and shake the Peeper's hand for being so brave [as to watch me undress] and so cowardly [as to hide outside] at the same time! Haha!
The new place is a duplex. The next door neighbor is quiet. I am happy being a domestic goddess this week whilst I'm on vacation. Putting up curtains so that my peeping Tom can't get a peep.
I mean seriously folks. Almost wanted to go out and shake the Peeper's hand for being so brave [as to watch me undress] and so cowardly [as to hide outside] at the same time! Haha!
B-Bob
The B is for boring. I was going to call him Welfare Bill, because I'm pretty sure he knows Welfare Red from the opposite side of the desk - he's a welfare worker. But B-Bob was just... plain.... boring.
We talked for several hours one night on the phone. From our exs' bipolar illnesses, similar experiences, etc., to tastes in music, food, and more. The next night we had a 6-hour date that included walking 8 miles, eating and drinking until we were merry... and a 2-hour car drive that ended rather abruptly when he drove by his house to "show me" ... um... what? His etchings?
Thank you, NO!
He called me 4 days later. FOUR DAYS! I've never had a date wait that long to call me. Usually there is a follow-up date the next morning. Four days. Please. If you're not interested, just don't call!
Anyhoo... he hasn't called since. No love lost. A nice diversion, anyways.
Dot.
We talked for several hours one night on the phone. From our exs' bipolar illnesses, similar experiences, etc., to tastes in music, food, and more. The next night we had a 6-hour date that included walking 8 miles, eating and drinking until we were merry... and a 2-hour car drive that ended rather abruptly when he drove by his house to "show me" ... um... what? His etchings?
Thank you, NO!
He called me 4 days later. FOUR DAYS! I've never had a date wait that long to call me. Usually there is a follow-up date the next morning. Four days. Please. If you're not interested, just don't call!
Anyhoo... he hasn't called since. No love lost. A nice diversion, anyways.
Dot.
The Welfare of Red
Wow, I've been so busy dating, there has been little time to post!
It turned out that Red had recently been on welfare, because he would not find a job and could not take care of his boys -that's why they were out of state for the summer.
Furthermore, we met the next day for coffee and he said he didn't have enough cash to get out of his exs apartment. I sincerely believed that he was going to ask me for cash. But I would not look him in the eye or even entertain the notion that I had heard him actually say that he didn't have money to move out.
Fast-forward to a few days later, and I got an instant message from a woman using Red's account. It said something to the effect of:
Hmm. Surprised? Not so much. I thought almost a week previous that he might be a con. Glad my intuition, spirit and happiness are in tact. I responded to her and we had an interesting chat. I stopped short of saying "girl power" and "stick it to him, sistah"... but the important part was that I supported her, soothed her, told her that I refused to date a loser still living with his alleged ex.... etc.
It turned out that Red had recently been on welfare, because he would not find a job and could not take care of his boys -that's why they were out of state for the summer.
Furthermore, we met the next day for coffee and he said he didn't have enough cash to get out of his exs apartment. I sincerely believed that he was going to ask me for cash. But I would not look him in the eye or even entertain the notion that I had heard him actually say that he didn't have money to move out.
Fast-forward to a few days later, and I got an instant message from a woman using Red's account. It said something to the effect of:
Hey all of you ladies! Red is still living with me - we DID NOT BREAK UP! Stay away from him because he's a liar and a cheater! He did it to me and he's doing it to you!
Hmm. Surprised? Not so much. I thought almost a week previous that he might be a con. Glad my intuition, spirit and happiness are in tact. I responded to her and we had an interesting chat. I stopped short of saying "girl power" and "stick it to him, sistah"... but the important part was that I supported her, soothed her, told her that I refused to date a loser still living with his alleged ex.... etc.
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