Good Friday

I have been longing to feel the way that I used to feel when I knew that we (the royal "we") were doing all that we could to worship and praise and be thankful to God for all that we have and all that we are. Was there ever such a time, at least when I wasn't miserable otherwise?

This morning my friend, who is a Christian Scientist, spoke of his Easter celebrations with family and friends. I felt jealous that he got to celebrate with those whom he loved. I miss celebrating my religious beliefs like that.

Last week I had food poisoning the worst that I've ever had, ever, in my life. It was disgusting and I was at one point sure that I'd die. Somewhere in the fugue of vomit and haze of a sleepless night, delirium took over and I could clearly see a little dorky 4-year old version of Othello, with hair the brightest copper. He looked just like his daddy, with puffy dark circles under his eyes, a sweetheart smile, and a backpack that matches both of ours. My little Hunter, in the Flesh!

Sweet little boy: I can't wait to meet you one day!

"Jesus Saves!"

When we were about 8 or 9, me and Jay and JD (my older brother, whose name I use so infrequently in my blog, I can't even remember what I call him) liked to put things to the test. So when Mom used to say that Jesus would save us from anything as long as we uttered His name.... we were instantly thinking the same thing....

The plan was for one or more of us to jump down the stairs (12 steps) whilst yelling "Jesus"... because of course, Jesus would save us and we wouldn't get hurt. Yeah right. So no one wanted to go first. Man I was standing there on the landing at the top and it just looked...so...far...down.

So we went and found the black cat, Sammy, and while yelling "Jesus", we threw her down instead. Probably two or three times. She lived, so our experiment "worked" and "Jesus Saved".

Praise the Lord!

At What Price, Revenge?

I am reading about Saddam Hussein's impending hanging this morning. Certainly the Iraqi's have the right to be angry at the dictator. But don't take my words to be in support of the man.... just hear me out and think about this:

A leader in a mosque prayed today to "Have God take Revenge on Saddam". Revenge. But at what cost? The cost of a human life. We, the alleged humane ones, have taken the role of executing a man in the name of human rights. Where is the humanity in that? But I ask you: is torture better? Is brainwashing him better? Hard labor, scrubbing toilets? Locking him up in solitary confinement and piping religious commentary?

To be truthful, I don't know the answer. But I do know that this morning I read about the execution and became uncomfortable. It doesn't seem like we should let him go free... but at the same time, what right do we have to end someone, no matter what he did?

A "Spiritual 911"?

The incident of the pastor of the new life church in Colorado is admitting his guilt in the sex-meth scandal over the past week. In my mind, this is hyprocracy at its very worst.

Now don't got and get angry with me: I'm not suggesting that he has to be perfect. However it's important to recognize that being a Human is an incredibly weak place to start... that we need to do the best we can, but ask for help when we can't.

I hate that lots of people are saying that this pastor was the center of the church. Their faith should be placed in Jesus, and not in a single, weak, human being. Likewise they should not lose faith in God for the actions of this weak man.... instead they should use the opportunity to be honest about their own shortcomings... and to be more tolerant, understanding, and most of all, helpful to those whose shortcomings can damage themselves and others.

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On another note... it's still very fun, settling into the relationship with Othello. He is truly someone that I have opened my heart to... It's really nice.