Christmastime is Here

Go to iTunes. Go there right now. Get the Steve Vai rendition of the "Christmastime is Here" originally made fameous by the Peanuts' Christmas Special.

Also.... if you are hankering for a Dorothy-infused holiday.... get this Charlie Brown Christmas-Tree from Urban Outfitters:

Leave the Light On

Beth Hart is gritty and soulful and says exactly what I was feeling a few years back in her hit "Leave the Light On". Her line that says "I swore to God I'd never be what I've become"... man back in 2002 I was right there with her. Stuck in a crappy marriage and a hell-hole job.. Phew.

Yesterday I learned that one of my life's goals.. one of my biggest dreams was becoming true. The dream I had ever since I first learned about my field of meteorology... I said I was going to get a PhD one day and become a certified consultant. Well I'm in grad school. And consulting is right around the corner. But the lisence that one must obtain is pretty challenging. Man, I have most of the criteria met and it looks like things continue to fall into place.

As I continue getting to know Othello, he was literally shocked to know some of the things of my past - both good and bad. The certified consultant thing was probably one of the biggest ones as he thought I was just stagnating in my field, with nowhere else to go. Even though that is not true... it has been difficult for me since Nelson (my ex) always insisted that I would never ever be happy, never be content. Why did he say that?

Flux.

"I ain't that bad, I'm just messed up; I ain't that sad... but I'm sad enough". Who am I to judge myself for being a little sad sometimes? The entire world is at my door and yet Dorothy continues to focus on what she doesn't have. (a husband and tiny little happy babies).

Dude, now that is messed up.

The Times, they Are A-Changin'

Keb' Mo' has put a new twist on the old Dylan song... give it a listen if you can find it (iTunes, perhaps?)

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'

That song reminds me of some of Proverbs in the Bible. Like "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" and so on.

Funny how my times changed over the last Quarter-year. From being alone and drinking too much, to finding a deep, serious love, a committed partner and a future husband. I seriously cried myself to sleep many nights, not thinking that anyone would or could ever love me.

My views of the world and of relationships are incredibly short-sighted, and I'm not exactly sure how to step back and make sure that this time I know what I'm doing. Guess it's a good thing that I can actually see and note that fear exists in my life?

Living "on the edge" is not as fun as it used to be. I'd like to settle down, finish school, and live a life of happiness and babies with my partner, my lover, my soulmate.