Cherish the Life....

Only two short years ago, I had this big fight with what is now my ex. He threatened my safey, he threatened my life! I used to sit in my bedroom and hope that he would have a traffic accident on the way home from work.... maybe someone tragic would harm him before he arrived.... or.... what would happen if ... could I....?

We swore and cursed at eachother. Sometimes I hit his arms and chest in anger. He often shoved me against a wall, or onto the bed or floor. He would hold me down and I kicked him. He screamed into my face and told me that I made him hate his life, made him want to kill himself. Even while I hated him, my heart was dying. It became a cold black lump of tar before I left.

I left 23 months and 3 weeks ago. Because the incident happened exactly two years ago today. And exactly two years ago today, I decided to leave.

All of the doctors and therapists told me that it would take two years to get over the divorce. I thought that they were insane! I was fine... look at me! ... now, two years later, I think it took just this long to wind down. The dealing with it part has come in stages.

But after spending a luxuriously long weekend with M.W., I felt encouraged that my life is advancing slow enough for me to keep up with it, and almost fast enough to keep me from being annoyed :) ...

His separation happened in the same week as mine, although they were unrelated. In an email then a phone call that ended up changing our lives, we were there for eachother. I had always been afraid that we were just commiserating all of this time... that when we felt appropriately healed, that we may've just let the other slip away... instead, I found a best friend, a partner in business, in work, in happiness.... in life. I've found inspiration and a way to cherish my life once again....