Here is Gone

The other night... maybe it was last night after some cold pills, that I thought about here, about now. Life is fluid.

What is here today will be gone tomorrow. It's a fact. It's impossible to make your life be the same in a day, a week, a month, as it is today. Here is gone. You have to make a new here every day.

Mercifully, today is different than yesterday, last week, last month, last year. Life progresses, and people can and do change. Relationships and families and loves and lives change. It's naive to think that one can have things NOT change.

In my former marriage, I was the one who changed, far beyond that which my spouse could or was willing to keep up with. M.W.'s marriage was similar, with he as the changer.

It's okay to be a little afriad...
I've been so afraid to change since I moved to the Golden State.... don't want to lose me, or lose sight of this awsome best friend, this partner with whom I share so much. My bike ride a few days ago proved to me, that no matter how upset and afraid of the future I am.... I can still function and still be happy and still find love and life... and still move forward.

Some reassurance would nice...
I miss my mommy. It would be so nice to have her pat my back and tell me that everything is going to be alright. Does everyone have moments which they feel like this about their lives? Afraid to move forward, terrified of losing ground?

There is this song ... part of the lyrics go "Just remember I love you, and it'll be alright... Just remember I love you, much more than I can say...." I kinda need that kind of reassurance right now.

Peace,
Dot.