Yee-haw folks! Just learned my job's in jeopardy! Not the Ken Jennings type, either. :( No, we lost a contract. And it was our only contract. Not that I'm out of a job right now.. but I could be by the beginning of the year.
Which... brings me to a whole new set of issues: should I look for work? Should I see what happens here first? I gotta be honest -- I've been wanting to move to California for some time. Since Mister Wonderful lives there and we are in love... wouldn't that be ideal? It all works out right? Not when both parties are protecting themselves from being hurt by their ex's.
There's got to be a place where we can go back and find enough trust in ourselves to take a chance on the future -- we are both standing here (figuratively) and yelling (with our hearts) about our undying love, how we are not going to give up on the other (yet)... and still there is no compromise. A long-standing gripe I have, is that the person of no action wins, when there is a question "whether or not?" The answer, by default... is always not. Unless both parties agree.
When I learned this afternoon that I might not be here forever... I was jumping for joy. My dream was finally coming true and I could leave Oklahoma for the land of my dreams! But by the time I finished explaining the sitch to M.W... I wondered if we would be parting ways soon? Granted, I appreciate that he thinks highly of my career. But does he think that highly of me? It can't be helped... the thought that if I put my career ahead of him, then it stays ahead of him. I am a mobile girl for the time being, but I want to settle down a.s.a.p. Moving to the east coast for a year or two or three sounds more like a set-back or a pre-break-up move. Definitely not something one would do, if they were in love with you.
So I'm not looking for work farther than 2 hours drive from M.W. and that's that! Either I work locally, or I stay put. I'm in love with the guy and when it comes down to it... if he loves me too, then he'll figure it out before I get too sad or too tired to wait for him to make up his mind. And if he doesn't figure it out... then he'll be all alone and (much as I hate to say it) I'll move on.
Geez, I totally bummed me out. I love the lug. Just hope he realizes it, too.
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