Get your freak-on.. OFF!

Mister Wunderbar is on his way here in one week. Just a visit.

He sent me an e-card the other day quoting the book of Ruth, chapter 1 verse 16: "Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It made me burst with happiness. I felt full.

Things are not so easy or fuzzy today and I know its that "one week freak-out" that we always go thru... Exactly one week before we see eachother. Now that's not true: we used to freak out a few weeks before meeting. Then a couple of weeks. Now it's down to one week. But why the freak-out? It's like "I love ya honey, but I just can't smile"... Remember that? The childhood game, I mean. I love you honey... but I just can't smile.

I was thinking... never let 'em see you sweat... but that's just not me. I need to be needed just as much as I need. And love? Don't even get me started. I have enough love to do it all by myself. But it doesn't work that way. It takes two.

My hope is that one day the one week freak will whittle down to a few hour freak -- preferably after one of us has already boarded the plane. And then who knows? Perhaps we'll just get giddy before we drive home from work only to find the other one already there waiting with a smile.

Until then I have to pretend to be as cool as ice without letting it break my heart.