Road Trip....

While examining the motivations for my current road trip, starting tonight at 7:30 PM, I have come up with the following:

It's not about where I'm going, as much as it is, that I want to go.
It's not about who I'm seeing but who I am.
and especially...
I will get to combine my trip so I can see people I love, too -- My family!!!

Some things have surfaced recently that really give me pause about taking this trip. First, that my divorce is final and I am single again. That adds volitility to my emotional life. I understand that. But I still know me. And I am firm in my beliefs, my place in life, and my loves.

Next, it should be noted here that I've always been restless. Too much time in one place makes me go crazy, as does too much time with the same people. I love my family... but I can't take my vacations to the same places every time I have time off. ** One time I was coming home from school (90 miles from home) and ended up 50 miles in the opposite direction of home before I decided to not just take off for good. If I'd had somewhere to go, then that would've been the last of me in that small town.

Anyways, the point is that I am being totally selfish here and doing something for me. I'm not sorry for going, and I'm not sorry for relaxing and having fun. I am sorry that my sweety has angst. And I'm going to miss my sweetheart who is probably hurting because of my choice. But I wish he could come with me and wish that we could talk about it in a way that he would understand.

**My mom actually told me this, but please note: this does not apply to California... I love California.