Learning to trust again, that is. I mean, the more someone controls you in a relationship, the less you trust everyone in general... Especially in failed marital relationships, you get to this point when you do not trust your ex and you are so afraid of being stepped on that you do not trust anyone else, either. But there comes a time when you desperately want to do just that... and it should be easy.... just like riding a bike.
But it's not that easy. I have to take care of myself, my school, my job.... and my heart. Part of taking care of my heart is to communicate as openly as possible with Mister Wonderful... without threatening or otherwise hurting his heart in the process. I'm stuck today, because my gut reaction induced a reaction in him that was the opposite of what I wanted. Essentially, it was either me stuff my feelings down and not try to worry about it, or else confront my feelings with him and then cause him either concern, heartache or just some ambiguous yuckiness.
I wish I'd kept my feelings to myself.
What impresses me about this guy, though, is that there was no shouting. Just a few words from each of us, then trying to understand what the other one meant. I'm ceratin we had a little misunderstanding, and once we realized that we were both on the same side, everything will be good again.
Chocolate anyone? No better emotional anesthetic in the world. LOL.
jmhngb
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