"Making your way" sounds easier than it is...

And it is. Seems I've gotten really good at going where no divorced 31-year-old female scientist has gone before. Doing my own divorce, negotiating with the ex, filling out the paperwork. Deciding that what my company lacked, was an entirely new angle of dealing with the client/ops liason, and deciding to go back to school in order to learn how to tackle that issue.. complete with helping the company to understand that this is what they really need.

My mom once asked why I make things hard on myself. Simply put: because if I didn't work hard for them, I wouldn't appreciate them, silly. If relationships were easy, then everyone would take them for granted. My marriage was hard, and I thought it was supposed to be... so I just accepted it. Until I started wishing he was dead. Or worse, me.

There has been some sadness in my life lately when I start to realize that I am really getting past that. There is no going back, no going home. I am happy in my relationships and happy in my heart, that there is freedom from someone who put me thru misery. However the little drag-down I'm feeling these days is minimal, and I realize it's part of my life now.

Stressful times, but my guy friend is coming to visit 3 weeks and 14 hours from now. SIGH! The next week, I'm going to visit a good buddy in Wisconsin. Don't say I don't get around on my vacations!

And... I'm moving in a another friend. We're sharing a duplex. I think it's going to be great having a roommate -- even the bickering, quarreling, him eating my good ice-cream. Me drinking his good wine.

The Indent Is Gone!
... the indent on my left hand, where my wedding ring used to live. No one noticed at all... but I went from wearing 4 rings (wedding band, engagement ring, plain gold band, and ruby ring) and matching gold jewelry every day... to wearing nothing, or else small silver pieces.

Nothing is the same. Not the way I looked at the world when I was almost 21, nor the way the world actually is, when I'm 31. My tastes are different, and I take much better care of myself with the long-run in view. The very first day of my blog, I said "Things are going to be okay... I just know they are"... I still mean that.