Belonging...

So many times I wished there was something to belong to. Groups of people, ideals, morals... etc. When you feel on the outside... it's a lonely place. Recently I realized that part of that is my unwillingness to actually committ to anything.

Just got done chatting with the daugter of the man I'm dating. She's only 7 years younger than me, but a real sweetheart. We talked about her recent breakup and the break up of her folks that led to their divorce... and the breakup of my marriage that has led to my divorce. We talked about dating, dating after the breakups, dating too soon, being indiscreet, and about the fact that she was just as glad as I am, that I don't live in the same town; if I lived close, it would be near to impossilble to hold myself up to the kinds of morals which are important to me.

She really was relieved when I said that. Apparently there's a double-standard that lots of people hold, regarding people having relationships after a divorce. I held that myself, until I realized that I was just living by someone else's rules and not my own. When I stopped living by someone else's rules... my life because infinitely more satisfying and happy.

Caution: religious opinions contained below.

In church last week, we had a special guest, David Edwards. He spoke regarding the message of his book called Lit. I suggest it to everyone who struggles with the meaning of their religion.

Only my mom knows the extent to which I lost my religion some years back. I refused to go to church or participate in anything because I did not like people who were liars about who they were at church versus who they were in life. Consistency, people!

Anyways, the point is that God's grace in my life is something that never occured to me until this very low point in my life. My attitude is reversed 100% and I could not be happier regarding the direction that my mind is moving now. Sigh. How luck could this girl be?

Luck has nothing to do with it. It's all from God.

Thanks for the blessings.