Take some Vallium, moron
Okay, I work with this guy who is stressing out about working tomorrow. He's like totally stressing about being the man-in-charge for 12 hours. Like get this: I'm working with him and all of the bosses on a quiet Saturday afternoon. And this dude keeps flaunting that he's in the big chair tomorrow. Sighing heavily, walking around all forlorn. Bringing up the damn topic over and over again. You know what? If life is that bad... get a different job, go home, eat some draino... I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!! Just stop tooting your own disgustingly simple, blue-collar, sad-sack HORN!!!

Wow.... what was that???
Oh...erm... I think it was me getting on with my life. See, it's so difficult to ever imagine yourself coming to a screeching halt, jumping the tracks, and riding off into the sunset. Well I'm not in the sunset yet... but I am wearing a sun-hat and spf45 sunblock, well on my way to a glorious sunset.

Winter depresses me. I hate being stuck inside. But with that logic, I should be depressed by the summer, too. And I am. Fall and Spring are more my favorites, as it's possible to not have a day that is too hot, nor too cold, during the two seasons. We're anticipating a huge winter storm today, here in the Nation's midsection.

Talk about talking in Circles...
Ever feel bad for feeling bad about something? Feel even worse when you stop feeling bad about what you were feeling bad about? Let me make it simple: my spouse and I have not conversed since Monday. Last time we saw eachother, it was a week ago Monday. I am going to be out of town this coming Monday. Sure, I've had my moments of weekness... and those are the moments that I call my mom, my sweet friends, or my sister. I continue to fail to see what makes him proclaim his love from the roof-tops, when he hasn't even made an effort to talk some things out.

At the root of the problem is the truth that I no longer can handle being his happiness, his sadness, his right, his wrong. As individuals, we are bound by our humanity, to make life work for us. Some people get this all mixed up and think that they are working for Life. Nope. God has His plans and it's our choice to cooperate or not. Tis an awesome thing when what you wants is what He wants. Seems to some that your life is charmed (my typo was "lie" instead of life.... some people really have a lie instead)

Meet Virginia...or... Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause
I'm not proud: Train is my favourite band. But honestly! The lyrics to Meet Virginia seem to encompass what I was going through a few months back "she wants to be the queen, then she thinks about the scene... she wants to live her life and she thinks about her life... pulls her hair back and she screams 'I don't really wanna be the queen. I don't really wanna live this way'."

Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive. Perhaps.
Then again, perhaps I work with chauvenistic a$$es. Not in my personal office mind you... it's actually our client who is 3 hours away. See... there is this hugely expensive video conferencing unit so we can chat back and forth at will. Normally, the supervisor displays a computer screen with the latest weather map or satellite picture on it. Since there is a weather event in the northeast today, we had been conferencing directly with the client, so they could see us walking around the office. Fast-forward to me leaning over the supervisor's desk 3 hours later, with my own a$$ right in the camera. Suffice it to say that I didn't realize it. Heck, it'd been an awful day and my mind was reeling. But the client called my supervisor and I realized what happened. It wouldn't have been so terrible, had they not laughed about it for five minutes while changing the display to the latest weather map. I feel humiliated.

At the same time... I want to laugh and say "so what"? What keeps me from that is realizing that 150 jerks were gathered around the screen making wise remarks about my plaid-clad bootie (yes folks, it was a faux-Burberry day with a tan cashmere and silk sweater). I just hate that it was me, making my 15 minutes of fame by shakin' it on the big screen -- In our office, it's a 52 inch plasma monitor. At the Client's office... it's more like a projection movie-screen deal. :-P

I love sharing joy with my friends.
One thing I miss right now about being in a relationship... is that I never have someone to share my joy with, who I'm going to see tonight. A good friend just called me and I'm so excited about the news shared with me. My first instinct is to tell someone. But I can't rightly tell anyone I work with. And I thought quickly that I'd be able to share with my spouse when I got home... but I don't live at Home anymore. And then I got sad. I hate these mood swings. They'll end... right? But anyway, I *do* love sharing joy with my friends... and my friend really *does* have something to be happy about. I'm happy for 'em.

Wax Lips, do not a romantic evening make...
I wish I'd thought up of that line, but it was the line of "Cousin Larry" from the show Perfect Strangers, circa the late 80s. But anyways...

So the groove from my wedding ring isn't even out of my finger yet, and a couple of thick-sculled neanderthals from the office hit on me. I wondered how I would feel. Like this: It pissed me off. Royally. I mean, talk about wreckless disregard for another human's emotions! "No, I don't care for a drink. No, I don't want to see a movie." Damn, boys... I ain't even done feelin' sorry for myself yet! (not to mention that I haven't even filed papers...)

Domestic Violence does not have to take the form of physical battery...
This is a site detailing some of the statistics, causes and effects of domestic abuse. I understand it's a serious topic, and I am not treating this lightly. Another site has better information about emotional battery.

I am a victim.