I Can Live Without him... but I Don't Wanna!

Othello is still in Japan. Some bizarre thing has happened to me since he's left: I am still surviving on my own. In fact, Othello is not here to solve my problems, not here to listen to my every utterance... and the world still turns.... Albeit a bit darker without his hand to hold, without his breath in my ear, whispering encouraging words.

He spoke with me last night for the first time in over a week. You know, there is a big difference between needing someone and wanting someone around. I definitely want Othello in my life. He mentioned that when he returns, he will lighten his workload and be there for me. I love that.

Working out my inner demons is something that I needed to do alone. And unfortunately I was not capable of claiming that space for myself. But through all of the unexpected and unwelcome surprises, the strength that permeates me as a human being is phenomenal - it's almost unbelievable that instead of having a hissy-fit, I can choose my reaction.

Anyways, the big deal is that it's okay to be alone once in a while. Sometimes God has plans for us that we can't hear until everything has quieted down and there is nothing left except for the crickets.

BTW... here's a picture of my man, on what he called "The Hakuba Death March"... yes, he's wearing a helmet, goggles, and a snowboard strapped to his back..

I Will Follow You

Settling in. Following his lead. Falling asleep in his arms. Feeling comfortable. Gaining confidence. Falling deeper in love every day.

At the start, Othello said he wanted to put off any and all "serious" talk/actions for 90 days. He says he's shootin' from the hip, but his innate sensibility is hard to deny - that man's got me wrapped around his pinky. About 45 days into us... we both agreed that our future is a foregone conclusion and naturally assumed that "we" will become "us" sometime next year. It was 90 days this Tuesday last... and I couldn't be more satisfied...

Both of us are the kind of people who really get into the serious partnership/relationship/thing. I find that my hair-trigger of non-trust is starting to get more exercise, the more I make myself vulnerable to him. He is measured, strong, stoic at times... and still fun. How can that be? (grin)

So I have been praying for Othello nearly constantly. He does not know Jesus and it's by far my biggest concern about him. Of course he also has to have a loving and kind heart, and totally love me before anything else transpires.... which is the case. We've talked about how to raise our children, how many, and when. My future is staring me in the face.

Oh, is it ever! Dorothy Jean "Not In Kansas" Gale is in love with Othello "43" Snowboarder and she has no plans on stopping!