I started another blog today, about things which I see in SF. I have enlisted LaMar, because we get so much joy out of making fun of the things which we see.
Due to his adorable British accent, LaMar say "I sawr this" and "I sawr that"..... so the new blog is Things We Sawr [in San Francisco]
Showing posts with label Travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Travel. Show all posts
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I Can Live Without him... but I Don't Wanna!
Othello is still in Japan. Some bizarre thing has happened to me since he's left: I am still surviving on my own. In fact, Othello is not here to solve my problems, not here to listen to my every utterance... and the world still turns.... Albeit a bit darker without his hand to hold, without his breath in my ear, whispering encouraging words.
He spoke with me last night for the first time in over a week. You know, there is a big difference between needing someone and wanting someone around. I definitely want Othello in my life. He mentioned that when he returns, he will lighten his workload and be there for me. I love that.
Working out my inner demons is something that I needed to do alone. And unfortunately I was not capable of claiming that space for myself. But through all of the unexpected and unwelcome surprises, the strength that permeates me as a human being is phenomenal - it's almost unbelievable that instead of having a hissy-fit, I can choose my reaction.
Anyways, the big deal is that it's okay to be alone once in a while. Sometimes God has plans for us that we can't hear until everything has quieted down and there is nothing left except for the crickets.
BTW... here's a picture of my man, on what he called "The Hakuba Death March"... yes, he's wearing a helmet, goggles, and a snowboard strapped to his back..
He spoke with me last night for the first time in over a week. You know, there is a big difference between needing someone and wanting someone around. I definitely want Othello in my life. He mentioned that when he returns, he will lighten his workload and be there for me. I love that.
Working out my inner demons is something that I needed to do alone. And unfortunately I was not capable of claiming that space for myself. But through all of the unexpected and unwelcome surprises, the strength that permeates me as a human being is phenomenal - it's almost unbelievable that instead of having a hissy-fit, I can choose my reaction.
Anyways, the big deal is that it's okay to be alone once in a while. Sometimes God has plans for us that we can't hear until everything has quieted down and there is nothing left except for the crickets.
BTW... here's a picture of my man, on what he called "The Hakuba Death March"... yes, he's wearing a helmet, goggles, and a snowboard strapped to his back..
Monday, March 05, 2007
Alone for Two Weeks!
Othello is in Japan, snowboarding. I am staying at his house, because my house is apparently in "Heroin Heights"... an up and coming neighborhood downtown :-(
You know, his house is no fun without him around. I was looking for a stapler in his desk last night and found some nasty note he had written about his exes. Not the mean kind of nasty either. My choices are to get really angry or to say "that was in the past". Either way.... it will look like I am being petty and like I was snooping if I mention it. Blah.
I've been thinking that it's a lot like when the folks would go away when I was younger. I could drink out of the milk carton, put my feet up on the couch, and not make my bed! With Othello out of the country, I've been walking around the living room without my slippers and not using coasters on the coffee table. Last night, horror of horrors, I did not wash the dishes. Now there are two bowls and four cups in the sink, unwashed! Unclean! OMG.
He will be home a week from this Friday. Not too long at all. Wonder if he even misses me? He was really edgy before he left and had I argued back... we would have fought. He grabbed my cell phone out of my hand in frustration. How does one react? Is that kind of outburst forgivable? We are not even married... Would I consider being in a long term relationship with another person who treats me like that?
My nerves are shot.
You know, his house is no fun without him around. I was looking for a stapler in his desk last night and found some nasty note he had written about his exes. Not the mean kind of nasty either. My choices are to get really angry or to say "that was in the past". Either way.... it will look like I am being petty and like I was snooping if I mention it. Blah.
I've been thinking that it's a lot like when the folks would go away when I was younger. I could drink out of the milk carton, put my feet up on the couch, and not make my bed! With Othello out of the country, I've been walking around the living room without my slippers and not using coasters on the coffee table. Last night, horror of horrors, I did not wash the dishes. Now there are two bowls and four cups in the sink, unwashed! Unclean! OMG.
He will be home a week from this Friday. Not too long at all. Wonder if he even misses me? He was really edgy before he left and had I argued back... we would have fought. He grabbed my cell phone out of my hand in frustration. How does one react? Is that kind of outburst forgivable? We are not even married... Would I consider being in a long term relationship with another person who treats me like that?
My nerves are shot.
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