Although I'll never sound as blue-sy as ol' Bing pounding out the Christmas Blues, my heart holds the same kind of mellow hue. Reading Christmas Cards from friends takes me from the height of happiness when I read the little tomes... to the depths of sad when I rue how alone I am in my life.
My good friends sent a card that they are opening a custard and cocoa stand. A friend from college sent her new business card with a prestigious title from a national firm. My sister is an amazing knittress (crochetress just sounded gross). My boyfriend's son got married. His daughter got a job. Heck... I got a job and moved halfway across the country. But that doesn't mean much when you got the Chritmas Blues...
Know what? My first Christmas after the separation was like this. Laughing to Crying and then laughing again. Last year I was numb from the anti-depressants. Geez! I'm kinda mad at myself because if I'm a good little girl and stay busy and stuff.... I can just tough it out until there are people around who love me.
By the way: why is it that when we feel threatened, we tend to shit where we sleep? (Sorry for the drama today, M.W.... maybe it's the rain, maybe it's the alone. I miss you, dang-it!).
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