My ex was emotionally retarded. My former sister-in-law always said that he "did not have an adequate emotional vocabulary to verbalize his needs"... but I say he was an emotional retard.
You may know the type: Capable of the "primary colours" of emotion -- not Blue, Yellow, Red, but Happy, Sad, Angry... Incapable of verbalizing Purple, Green and Orange -- that's Melancholoy, Frustration, or even Elation.
Today, I drove to Lake Tahoe. With lots of time to think, I though of how his emotionally stunted growth really held me back in my young adulthood. Making up for it now with spades, and mucho apologies... yeesh... too many apologies.
One of the things I am searching for in my life, is acceptance. I think it would be really nice if, instead of saying hello to my boyfriend tomorrow, we can exchange greetings of "You're just perfect the way you are"... and take it from there.
Acceptance, by the by, is coloured light green, with yellow polka dots.
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1 comment:
well stated, my dear, and my congrats on getting it closer to right the second time around.
Writing and talking this out is part of your healing, and needed to make the "now" better than the "what was that that came before?"
Forgive my stumbling words, I just got out of bed, I hope the heart of this comes through.
Thinking of you this Sunday morning.
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