Keeping Up Appearances: one for the Ex Files...

One of the things that M.W. and I had in common with our first marriages, was that our spouses insisted on keeping up appearances. Not the kind of "we just had a fight, but it's alright now" appearance, but rather, the "By God, you'll act like we're happy, so that the neighbors won't think that yelling and screaming is because you just told me you are unhappy in our marriage, and for that matter, you'll BE happy, because I won't have the neighbor's... or my mother... look at me like I'm going to get a divorce" appeearance. That pissed us both off, in our previous lives.

I was reminded of this tonight, when M.W. said he didn't want other people to misread something I wanted from him... Well, to be honest, he didn't want me to misread it either... but he didn't say that until I pressed him on it. It strikes me that even though we have very open communication, we are still completely jaded by what Mister Idiot and Ms. Beyotch did to us. The keeping up of appearances was apparent in every facet of our former lives, from going to church and bible study, to eating dinner with friends, to book clubs, and the like.

Meanwhile in our professional lives (before we have ever heard of one-another, and still 1500 miles apart), there were people who knew us... and thought we were single, because our spouses never joined us for anything. It still burns both M.W. and myself, that we spent so much of our time alone. But we're glad to be together now. Sigh.

Frankly, at the end of the day the only people I care about are the ones who love me. People who don't know me -- and that is basically everyone except for those whom I love, because I don't get close to many people -- don't have a vote in the way I live my life.

And if they did... I probably wouldn't even be dating M.W.

No Apologies...
So, thank you very much, I'll do what I want, say what I want, to whomever I want. Unless mummy doesn't like it. Then I'll just have to have Jayleigh distract her and I'll do it anyways...

To M.W.:
WAMHAS