Silent all these years
I never shared my misgivings about my marriage with anyone... but it seems a lot of people could still see that. Even my spouse could not see. But I could. For instance, last summer, we went with friends to an art festival. I remember thinking how in love they all were, and why did I feel so bad? Something was not right in Whoville, but I did not know what.

Did I go somewhere for the holiday?
In a word? No. I actually cooked a small turkey that looked more like a chicken (but it was turkey, I swear). And I organized my closet, lined my dresser drawers, and drank beer. You heard me right -- I drank beer. Ten people called and asked if I would join them for "leftovers" or for "dessert"... but I felt more like they wanted to ease their minds and consciences of having someone alone, wallowing (say wallering) in sadness on their watch. Can I blame these heartful people for caring? Heck no. But I simply had no mind for football games, mindless chattering about turkey-cooking techniques, and most especially, about so-and-so's recent fishing trip.

What I wanted, was to go with my spouse to his brother's place for dinner. One of the reasons I tried to hold out until after the holidays (I mean, why I tried to not leave), was that I wanted desperately to see my sister-in-law. She is an amazing woman who I could only hope to be like, one day. Smart and self-assured and an awesome cook, she always has an opinion and she changes it not-often.

Speaking of not changing one's mind or yielding one's opinions...
I saw a t-shirt that I simply must own. It has a sentiment that I have always felt, but in this day and age, and in my social setting, it is sometimes considered un-PC. Newsflash! I HATE PC! So anyways... the t-shirt said "Equal Rights for Pre-Born People". It was on a total liberal, ragging about abortion.

Here's my unique angle on abortion: Since for 10 years I was trying to have kids, and I haven't yet... then every single life is precious to me. I want a baby. "Fine timing Lucille", you say. Yah, shure, you betcha. But that doesn't change my Plans for the Future.