I have been longing to feel the way that I used to feel when I knew that we (the royal "we") were doing all that we could to worship and praise and be thankful to God for all that we have and all that we are. Was there ever such a time, at least when I wasn't miserable otherwise?
This morning my friend, who is a Christian Scientist, spoke of his Easter celebrations with family and friends. I felt jealous that he got to celebrate with those whom he loved. I miss celebrating my religious beliefs like that.
Last week I had food poisoning the worst that I've ever had, ever, in my life. It was disgusting and I was at one point sure that I'd die. Somewhere in the fugue of vomit and haze of a sleepless night, delirium took over and I could clearly see a little dorky 4-year old version of Othello, with hair the brightest copper. He looked just like his daddy, with puffy dark circles under his eyes, a sweetheart smile, and a backpack that matches both of ours. My little Hunter, in the Flesh!
Sweet little boy: I can't wait to meet you one day!
Chronicles of a Girl in Motion
Who Am I?
- Dorothy is
- Not in Kansas, United States
- Life is hard. I struggle. I am weak. But I muttle through somehow. And there are constant reminders that God is full of grace and love, none of which I deserve.
1 comment:
Dear Friend -
Having read your previous post, and knowing that you have a friend who is a Christian Scientist, I wonder if you have ever asked him about what it is he has got, and whether it might be worth sharing it with you? I have not suffered the kind of experience that you did, but as the child of Holocaust survivors I have found the spiritual ideas in Mary Baker Eddy's book "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" very liberating from my own sense of being an innocent victim, and from the associated fears attached to that. Christian Science really brings out the vastness of the goodness in God (not creating it - it is already there, of course - but magnifiying it to our view!)...
So, just a thought. Perhaps your friend has already shared, or perhaps it is not your cup of tea - but if not, I would go ahead and ask him.
All the best!
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