Leave the Light On

Beth Hart is gritty and soulful and says exactly what I was feeling a few years back in her hit "Leave the Light On". Her line that says "I swore to God I'd never be what I've become"... man back in 2002 I was right there with her. Stuck in a crappy marriage and a hell-hole job.. Phew.

Yesterday I learned that one of my life's goals.. one of my biggest dreams was becoming true. The dream I had ever since I first learned about my field of meteorology... I said I was going to get a PhD one day and become a certified consultant. Well I'm in grad school. And consulting is right around the corner. But the lisence that one must obtain is pretty challenging. Man, I have most of the criteria met and it looks like things continue to fall into place.

As I continue getting to know Othello, he was literally shocked to know some of the things of my past - both good and bad. The certified consultant thing was probably one of the biggest ones as he thought I was just stagnating in my field, with nowhere else to go. Even though that is not true... it has been difficult for me since Nelson (my ex) always insisted that I would never ever be happy, never be content. Why did he say that?

Flux.

"I ain't that bad, I'm just messed up; I ain't that sad... but I'm sad enough". Who am I to judge myself for being a little sad sometimes? The entire world is at my door and yet Dorothy continues to focus on what she doesn't have. (a husband and tiny little happy babies).

Dude, now that is messed up.