Eggs

There are ups and downs in my life, as in every life. However Othello is sharing with me a zen-like quality that is surreal. Life is in flux. Every one experiences it. But for whatever reason, the changes come and go, they wash over me, they are but passing seasons.

I am content with the flux.

I am one with the flux.

Flux in = flux out.

It wasn't too very long ago when I proclaimed myself to be unloved, unloveable. I wanted to scream when everything wasn't going right. Now I seem to be the sane one, the one whose advice is sought-after, and who is a calming influence on others.

Someone called me the "cog".... (okay, technically they called me the cog in the hatin' maschine) that holds everyone else together. Just call me Mr. Cogswell:

What they meant was that I'm the glue that holds together, the ties that bind, the amplifer that amplifies hard work, good will, love... and yes, hate. (In my office, "hate" is a general term that we throw around like "you're hatin' me" instead of "you're picking on me" and the like... it's a good-natured kind of jibing). I like amplifier.

So what does all this have to do with Eggs? I got to thinking how much I like eggs, because at the end of the day, in the carton or out, fridge or store, table or grocery sack.... it's still an egg. In its shell, being an egg. When you go to mix it up and make it into something wonderful.... it's just something wonderful, not eggs plus something (duh, except for an omelette which is, only eggs plus cheese). I'm thinking like chocolate cake. You won't say "Mmmmm, lemme have some cocoa powder, a few spoons of flour, salt and some raw eggs...." You'd say "let's make cake". And admit it: everyone likes cake.

So I'm an egg, and we're (the biblical "We're") the cake.

Peace out,

Dorothy

His Mom...

Othello and I were driving by his folks neighborhood on Sunday. He said "Oh, we could go by and see my mom and dad"... I encouraged this, as family is Oh-so-important to me.

She gave him a huge hug and said "I love you... what's your name again?"... the moved on to me, gave me a huge hug and said "Oh, I love you too!"

That woman... wants grandbabies. I love her too. She looks just like her son... sigh.

Dot.

Claddagh

The Celtic Claddagh symbol is pictured here:

It symbolizes Friendship, Love and Loyalty (Hands, Heart and Crown). Those are the key things which my relationship with Othello is based around. It is so important, and although there've been so many mistakes in the past... I simply won't blow this one.

Last week it was a shock when O freaked out when his former girlfriend logged on IM (while I was on the computer) and he logged out so quick my head was spinning. How suspicious! Then this past weekend, she called his house. When asked who it was... he lied to me. He fessed up 1 minute later... but it was already too late. Broken trust by someone whose first instinct is to lie to me.

With all of the other problems in life... why lie? I learned early not to lie. It is far more preferable to take the consequences as they come, than to lie to save your own a$$, then worry until the end of time, about the outcome.

Anyways, it turned out that I won't stand for liars and especially for emotionally straying boyfriends who don't see anything wrong with carrying on with their old emotionally unstable girlfriends because they "need emotional support". So I stood up for myself and women everywhere and kindly asked him to cease and desist contact with her. Then we argued about it for two whole days. He's a stubborn, stubborn man.

There is no resolution yet, except that he said I was forcing his hand... whatever that meant. He forced me to cease contact with someone who'd been a good friend back in the day. Oh well.

So it comes down to "is it worth a fight?". My thought is "no". Love the guy, he's with me now, why do I worry?

Peace.

Dot.