It Levels Me Every Time

As I go through life, I try not to reflect too much on disappoints. Sometime that just can't be helped.... they just come up, kick you in the back of the knees and level you to the ground.

To be frank.... I need a hug. A great big safe hug. From someone who is never going to leave.

In unpacking more boxes in my place, I've already found pictures this morning of my in-laws, the curtain for the nursery I decorated when I was pregnant for a few precious weeks back in my old house, and groundhog's day cards which I chose not to send. All of these items represented dissapointments of some sort in my life, be it poor communication, the loss a a new life inside me, or just plain high hopes that are afraid to exist for fear of being dashed by fear itself, poor communication, and lack of faith in something I want so much for my somewhat distant future.

Worthy of mentioning is that I am going off my anti-depressants finally. Everything seems to make me cry or laugh these days. Not mood swings as much as finding my emotions again. And my fears. Maybe I needed to be more numb for a while to get some perspective.

Anybody got some advice (or a hug)?

On another topic...
I HATE online music companies. Being the cheapskate that I am, I joined Yahoo Music's free 7-day trial. They said I could download as much music as I wanted. Guess what? My new iPod (I named her Smith) is not supported, so I can't download the muzik onto her and listen "on the go" as advertised. It took about 2 hours of researching to learn this. And I'd already shared my unlimited download excitement with Kiki, so then I felt like an idiot.

Here's the thing: usually, I will buy large quantities of music only from the bargain bin, garage sales, or that buy eighty-eleven CDs for only a penny offer from BMG. Why in heck would I pay $7/ month until the end of time, just to listen to my unlimited downloads? I mean, eventually there would be a limit, and then my toons ended up costing WAY more than $0.99 apiece. It ain't a good deal, and I don't support online music companies that end up charging you more than you'd ever pay in a bargain bin, garage sale, or Columbia House (hey, I can be an equal opportinity business plan basher).

So what's my solution? A perfectly legal method of backing up the music that I paid for. Tunebite. Time consuming? Yah. A little boring? You betcha. But in the end, I ended up paying almost $18 to a German company that allowed me to record the music as it's coming out of my speakers, so the format can be reincoded for use on Smith, the baby iPod. What's an iPod mommy to do? The baby likes music. It's like food to her, and she's on a quarter of a tank.....