Of Hubberds' and Howarths':

Strong women are required, to make a farmer's wife.

When I went Home to Michigan, my Dad's Aunt passed away. I had the unique opportunity to reconnect with much of the family.

The family -- immediate and extended -- is late for everything. Even the funeral was later than socially acceptable... an entire week after the loved one departed! Late for her own funeral.

Well anyways, I started thinking of my Grandma Hubberd, who was a Howarth. She was strong, talented, and hard-working. So were her sisters, my Great Aunt Ruth (laziest), and Great Aunt Ellen (the nurse). But Grandma was a farmer's wife. Her brothers were Uncle Hank (truckdriver) and Uncle Ben ("grand poobah").

In speaking with my cousin Joanie, she reminded me of a little remembered fact when I was a child: Grandma was incapaciated after a stroke, and Grandpa became a bit abusive toward her. It was like we all tried to not remember it... but my folks totally agreed that it was a valid memory. Joanie said that she did not like to think of it, but I can barely remember anything about her. So Joanie did say that she had a psychology class that offered this: Sometimes the family caretaker is abused when he or she falls ill, and is then asked to become dependant upon those who he or she used to attend to.

She Wasn't Very Nice
Uncle Ben's wife was the one who passed. She was pretty fretful as a human being, and she was never nice to Grandma, my dad, my mom, or myself. But her daughters had a lot of nice things to say about her. While one supposes that daughters should have nice things to say about their moms, I began thinking about her daughters.

Annabeth is a precocious know-it-all, aged 3, in the body of a 55 year old woman. It ain't pretty, folks. If anyone in my immediate family makes up a story or exaggerates the truth, my Dad calls them Annabeth.

Pam flew the coop. Literally. She moved to Texas and raised her family there. I love her so much. And her family. She reminds me of me.

Thinking of Other Howarth woman:
Annabeth has a daughter named Joanna. Pam has daughters Sarah and Emily. Aunt Ruth's daughter is Mary, and her daughter is Erica. Her son's daughters are Amy and Rachel. Grandma had no daughters, but three sons, two who had daughters. Joanie is the daughter of Uncle G, and then there's me and Jayleigh, who are the daughters (!) of Dad. To my knowledge, Uncle Hank never had kids. Aunt Ellen raised Los Ninas, who I can't seem to understand, but apparently has never done a hard day's work in her life (I hate to be violent, but she reminds me of this girl at work, whose pinky-finger I want to snap off!).

So, save for Los Ninos, we're all successful in our own right. We made the world our way. We are independant and happy and soul-free!

I think adding on the Hubberd gene for me, Jayleigh and Joanie added an extra ounce of "fire" to our souls. We ain't no shrinkin' violets -- and we were the first girls in our family in 150 years.