I love to sing, especially when I'm distraught and sad.
My Ex was especially hateful that I would only sing sad songs. Funny that I was almost always sad when I was with him. Hmm.
These slow and sad-slash-melancholoy songs just get running through my soul and it's hard to resist the temptation to just belt it out.
For instance:
Reo Speedwagon's Here With Me
Natasha Bedingfield's These Words
Trisha Yearwood's The Song Remembers When
and others...
What are some of your favourites?
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Birthday wishes.
We met with friends last night to attend Cirque' du Soliel's "Corteo" show in San Jose. It was marvelous; I recommend it to everyone.
M.W. flew back East this morning, as scheduled. At 4 AM, he woke up, packed, shaved, talked with me briefly and kissed me goodbye. I wasn't sleeping, because according to Eastern Standard Time, it was my birthday minute, and my sister and mom always call to wish me a happy one.
I slept in and got ready for church alone. M.W.'s church. Everyone there loves me. I picked up his daughter, Kiki, and we sat together at church, talked to everyone, and gave tons of hugs. I like that about the people he knows.
So this afternoon, I went on a bike ride (new bike!) and I'm exhausted. And I'm 33, and I want to have a life-partner, a soul-mate, a business-partner, a lover, a and confidant who feels the same about me.
That's not to much to ask for my birthday. That's what I want this year!
Happy Birthday today to Jayleigh
M.W. flew back East this morning, as scheduled. At 4 AM, he woke up, packed, shaved, talked with me briefly and kissed me goodbye. I wasn't sleeping, because according to Eastern Standard Time, it was my birthday minute, and my sister and mom always call to wish me a happy one.
I slept in and got ready for church alone. M.W.'s church. Everyone there loves me. I picked up his daughter, Kiki, and we sat together at church, talked to everyone, and gave tons of hugs. I like that about the people he knows.
So this afternoon, I went on a bike ride (new bike!) and I'm exhausted. And I'm 33, and I want to have a life-partner, a soul-mate, a business-partner, a lover, a and confidant who feels the same about me.
That's not to much to ask for my birthday. That's what I want this year!
Happy Birthday today to Jayleigh
Thursday, January 26, 2006
A little Threatened, and a little Jealous....
There's this website called "RateMyProfessor".com Since M.W. is a professor in his spare time, he is also rated. With only three ratings, everyone seems to be loving his classes. He's so excited when they give good comments.
My problem? There is a "just for fun" hotness factor that the students can enter about the appearance of said prof. Two of the girls called him cute, or a "cute little man"... which he is. It makes him happy to think that other people (was going to say women, but maybe it's men?) think he's cute, smart, etc. He is.
There was a time when all he cared about was whether I thought he was cute, smart, etc. He always called it "showing off for my girlfriend". Am I wrong to feel a little threatened? It's like I am losing his attention. I loved it when I was his focus and he would rush back from class on his break to tell he he loved me via phone.
Topic #2:
I'm jealous of all couples in a long-term relationship. I'm unusual, but definitely the marrying sort of girl. If, after two years of dating, my boyfriend turns out to be the not-marrying sort of guy... shouldn't I just give up? He won't change, will he?
Dot.
My problem? There is a "just for fun" hotness factor that the students can enter about the appearance of said prof. Two of the girls called him cute, or a "cute little man"... which he is. It makes him happy to think that other people (was going to say women, but maybe it's men?) think he's cute, smart, etc. He is.
There was a time when all he cared about was whether I thought he was cute, smart, etc. He always called it "showing off for my girlfriend". Am I wrong to feel a little threatened? It's like I am losing his attention. I loved it when I was his focus and he would rush back from class on his break to tell he he loved me via phone.
Topic #2:
I'm jealous of all couples in a long-term relationship. I'm unusual, but definitely the marrying sort of girl. If, after two years of dating, my boyfriend turns out to be the not-marrying sort of guy... shouldn't I just give up? He won't change, will he?
Dot.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
A Word about M.W.
Sweet M.W., my dear and loving best friend and boyfriend.
Trustworthy through and through.
Always patient, never let's me down.
Nice, kind, clever, smart.
Happy Birthday darling. I love you.
-- Dorothy.
Trustworthy through and through.
Always patient, never let's me down.
Nice, kind, clever, smart.
Happy Birthday darling. I love you.
-- Dorothy.
Dorothy Pan: Girl who never grew up....
It just struck me that most of us grow up and grow into our responsibilities. We forget about our dreams and make new ones -- some realized and some not. It's a pretty good life for most. They have loved ones, family, friends, and generally do their best to be happy in life, before their time is over.
I've always thought of myself as "different". Even as a little one, I felt the rules didn't apply to me. Gosh-darn it, I know I sound arrogant... but I always have felt different. My little-girl dreams never faded. When I felt like an old married maid, when I was fat and miserable... even then, the dreams were there, hot as ever.
Through the separation and divorce, things were pretty ugly, but I still had those dreams and started to realize that I was actually making progress!!! Me, Making Progress!!!
That hope in and of itself is fulfilling and content. And it makes me want to work harder than ever to become what He wants me to become. It's just another level, I know... because this feeling has been here before. It's a mix of encouragement to continue and a pat on the back, too.
Maybe it's not the girl who never grew up, so much as the one who always hoped, dared to dream, and waited her turn for "her time"?
Grin.
I've always thought of myself as "different". Even as a little one, I felt the rules didn't apply to me. Gosh-darn it, I know I sound arrogant... but I always have felt different. My little-girl dreams never faded. When I felt like an old married maid, when I was fat and miserable... even then, the dreams were there, hot as ever.
Through the separation and divorce, things were pretty ugly, but I still had those dreams and started to realize that I was actually making progress!!! Me, Making Progress!!!
That hope in and of itself is fulfilling and content. And it makes me want to work harder than ever to become what He wants me to become. It's just another level, I know... because this feeling has been here before. It's a mix of encouragement to continue and a pat on the back, too.
Maybe it's not the girl who never grew up, so much as the one who always hoped, dared to dream, and waited her turn for "her time"?
Grin.
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