Othello's and my friend is in town from Up North this weekend. He didn't know that we'd broken up - it was O's job to tell his people, which he didn't. Not sure what to make of that - he's not too emotional about having been together or now being apart.
We ate pizza together last night and today we attended a BBQ with our friends. After a few beers, I fell asleep at his house, and suffice it to say that I'm really proud that we can be together so much and not feel like we've got to jump on eachother anymore.
There was a point when my heart hurt - ached from moving on and not knowing what the future holds for us as friends. Friends is too casual for how much we still love eachother, and lovers was all wrong and we both knew it... so what does that leave us?
We ended up going out for sushi. In a rare moment of absolute clarity, Othello asked if I'd ever heard the expression "A brother from another mother"? I was tempted to say that I had... but I told the truth - Was it something about step-brothers or half-brothers? He said it was when someone feels so close to you that they're family, regardless of the blood-bond.
I thought he was thinking of the folks we hung out with today - Bobby, Boy-Dorothy (he shares my same actual name), Uncle Huffy, Aunt Em, and Little Hollister. But Othello made a point to say that I am his best friend, that he loves me more than anyone or anything.... he said I'm the brother he never had. Sister... whatever.
The point is that things are a lot easier, looking at him like my bro (and it makes it a lot sicker, if we accidentally kiss). I'm blessed to have a friend love me like that.
--Dot
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
A Night on the Town: Plan B?
The Coffee Shop Mystery Man picked me up at 7:30 last night, opened his car door for me, and was ever so polite... even though his car was dirtier than mine on the inside. On the one hand, I feel as though he knew all week that he was going out with me... and on the other, I know his kids were over the day before and they can be messy.
We talked for hours over a dinner of steamed mussels in broth, prawns, red snapper and smashed potatoes and gravy-sauce. Wine, candle-light, a rosebud on the table that was getting singed by the candle...
He has a gravelly voice and is still sensitive. He's a musician and an artist and a techie.
He parked his car in front of my house, got out, walked me to the front step, and gave me a hug. I looked at him all evening and longed for him to kiss me goodnight. I didn't get a kiss. But ... kinda-kissed his ear/cheek as we hugged goodnight. Then he waited for me to get inside and turn on a light until he pulled off.
Sigh. It's nice being treated well. There are few concerns at this point, such as 1) What does it mean when a straight man wears a pinky-ring? and 2) He's a good daddy, but is he really over his ex yet?
Anyways.... we'll see what the future brings.
--Dot
P.S. We talked about our religious and spiritual beliefs a couple of nights ago and it turns out that we are not only on the same page, but the same paragraph. Praise God!
We talked for hours over a dinner of steamed mussels in broth, prawns, red snapper and smashed potatoes and gravy-sauce. Wine, candle-light, a rosebud on the table that was getting singed by the candle...
He has a gravelly voice and is still sensitive. He's a musician and an artist and a techie.
He parked his car in front of my house, got out, walked me to the front step, and gave me a hug. I looked at him all evening and longed for him to kiss me goodnight. I didn't get a kiss. But ... kinda-kissed his ear/cheek as we hugged goodnight. Then he waited for me to get inside and turn on a light until he pulled off.
Sigh. It's nice being treated well. There are few concerns at this point, such as 1) What does it mean when a straight man wears a pinky-ring? and 2) He's a good daddy, but is he really over his ex yet?
Anyways.... we'll see what the future brings.
--Dot
P.S. We talked about our religious and spiritual beliefs a couple of nights ago and it turns out that we are not only on the same page, but the same paragraph. Praise God!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Oh My Aching Heart
On the one hand, I'm busy and on the other hand, I can't find/make the time to do anything productive, because I so sad/depressed. I feel like if I cry, it's making things real... and if it's real... then it's really over.
Giving up hope is the hardest part. I think I heard that in a new John Mayer song but it's true: I looked at Othello last night and remembered thinking that we would have a child together one day. A red-haired child that walked like his daddy and had a cute little backpack and smiled all goofy.
But I let it go because he didn't light up my heart.... and I didn't light up his heart.
And now I'm scared because the Mystery Man reminded me of that place in my heart that I thought was long gone... and it's not gone, it's alive and kicking.
So the point is that I'm starting to cry a little because I need Othello and everything associated with him to be over. I need to do the right thing and make some distance. And the most important part is that I'm ready to move on, mourn, let go, and hope for something new, with someone new.
Oh yeah... and I don't need anyone else to complete me. My self-worth is worth more than that.
-dot.
Giving up hope is the hardest part. I think I heard that in a new John Mayer song but it's true: I looked at Othello last night and remembered thinking that we would have a child together one day. A red-haired child that walked like his daddy and had a cute little backpack and smiled all goofy.
But I let it go because he didn't light up my heart.... and I didn't light up his heart.
And now I'm scared because the Mystery Man reminded me of that place in my heart that I thought was long gone... and it's not gone, it's alive and kicking.
So the point is that I'm starting to cry a little because I need Othello and everything associated with him to be over. I need to do the right thing and make some distance. And the most important part is that I'm ready to move on, mourn, let go, and hope for something new, with someone new.
Oh yeah... and I don't need anyone else to complete me. My self-worth is worth more than that.
-dot.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
43People, 43Things... One Great Date with a Mystery Man
A man saw my photograph online and wrote a little story about me and my friends, going to coffee every single day. I've seen him there too. This is our little conversation on the website - suffice it to say that we ended up meeting, he's charming, and... swoon!
He said:
I think she’s the one who lights up a local cafe almost everyday surrounded by a phalanx of palace guards (or body guards, or co-workers, or concubines).
Makes me forget what I’m doing every single time, because I SWEAR I know her from somewheres..
She said:
I think she likes coffee a LOT. And I’m pretty sure she’s just the rable-rouser that gets her coworkers to come on over, so it doesn’t look like she’s such an addict. (Actually, you and I know it’s just damn good coffee)
But she’s so shy when it comes to meeting new people… You should go over and say hello. Even if the Palace Guards are there. You should go right up, introduce yourself and say “The glass horse flies at 9”.
I’m pretty sure if you can do that, she might let you basque in her presence. (Okay, that was really over the top).
But seriously… Are you an innocent bystander or one of the coffee gods?
He said:
I missed this one..
Shy? YOU? Get out. But you know, rabble rouser and Weather Goddess don’t really go with shy. I think I’m already in over my head: smart, attractive, AND crafty. I’m done for.
As far as me being innocent: yes I am, as far as you know. Not a coffee god, just a dilettante trying to buy his way in.
- MM
She said:
The rare Sunday coffee run…. Darn the fact that I am not good at recognizing people in person from pictures… But that guy was sitting at the end of the bench, laptop open. I think.
At any rate, I’ve noticed him before. Maybe he will say hello this week?
He said:
Yep, I thought I’d seen you there at that place before. Your hair’s different; it’s more squiggly now. Very cool..
.. Wait.. You were THERE today? You must’ve been outside or in disguise. Either that, or I’m not as observant on 3 hours’ sleep as I’d be if’n I’d gotten a full night’s rest.
Sure, if I see you I’ll stammer out a semi-intelligible: “Uh, Hullo. Heh..” I may jam down to LA on Monday (waiting until the LAST possible minute), but it doesn’t look like my stuff’ll be ready, so I’ll likely be there at some point in the morning! Maybe I’ll see you there (just tell your guards to be nice).
BTW, I’m Mystery Man, and my email is (removed) if you want to drop me a line some time.
- MM
After our first meeting He said:
So this girl is something else. Attractive and wickedly intelligent. Easily distracted by cobwebs, though, so I’m trying to figure out how to work that to my advantage..
She said:
I wonder if she’s distracted by shiny or colorful objects?
I met him in a coffee shop today. I wasn’t shy and it wasn’t awkward (there sure are a lot of consonants in the word “awkward” huh?).
He is witty in an unassuming way. He made me smile even when I wondered whether he was telling the truth or making up a story to try to impress me.
In the end, I decided that he has an honest heart and … (distracted again) how tall is he? My height or more?? ... where was I?
Oh yes… I blushed when he asked me out to dinner. Too bad I’m hopping on my bike in 2 minutes. Friday would be good. Or Saturday, depending on the visitation status of his small Ninja(s).
Saturday, July 14, 2007
One Month Down... and lots of healing to go
I actually forgot on which date I broke up with Othello... but I think it's already been a month. Some days it's like a lifetime and some days it's like 1 minute ago.
My friend El came to interview for an internship at my work yesterday. She told me about one of her old boyfreinds who she continued to get emotional support from, after their breakup. I could see that if I wasn't careful, that would also be the cast with O.
Please pray for me to be strong than that... to meet people and be the kind of woman that God wants me to be.
--Dot.
My friend El came to interview for an internship at my work yesterday. She told me about one of her old boyfreinds who she continued to get emotional support from, after their breakup. I could see that if I wasn't careful, that would also be the cast with O.
Please pray for me to be strong than that... to meet people and be the kind of woman that God wants me to be.
--Dot.
Too Much Booze: A Visit With Friends
My Friends were in town from Oklahoma last week. From Friday to Friday (and sea to shining sea) we hit every bar, restaurant, winery and pub that we could get our hands on. Several of the days, I didn't want to go out... but still went...
It's part of that moving on thing... if I hadn't spent time with my friends, I'd have called Othello. oops.
On an interesting note, we went wine-tasting in Amador County, which is in the Sierra Foothills. It doesn't sound like a ton of fun, because it's not Napa, there are no restaurants, and there is no ocean nearby. But believe me... it's gorgeous and the wine was quite tasty.
Justin is a friend of my friend. He always tries to hit on me. He's quite inappropriate, but he's also a charmer and ...can't help but like the attention sometimes.
It's part of that moving on thing... if I hadn't spent time with my friends, I'd have called Othello. oops.
On an interesting note, we went wine-tasting in Amador County, which is in the Sierra Foothills. It doesn't sound like a ton of fun, because it's not Napa, there are no restaurants, and there is no ocean nearby. But believe me... it's gorgeous and the wine was quite tasty.
Justin is a friend of my friend. He always tries to hit on me. He's quite inappropriate, but he's also a charmer and ...can't help but like the attention sometimes.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I Forgive You: A Blanket Pardon
My daily devotional that I read each morning (even now, I'm still in bed and just read it), spoke of incurring God's judgment each time we judge another person. "Judge not, lest ye be judged?" Yes, apparently the reason we judge not, is that on Judgment Day, our own judgments against others is the basis on which God intends to judge us.... which definitely puts a new spin on things...
Here's the devotional so you can read it yourself...
So why am I still talking? Because it is necessary for me to first forgive, and then ask forgiveness for my judgments, my instances of hating some people. Even though I thought i was totally justified at the time... another day CANNOT go by without my making things right.
Pre-18 years old:
I do not hate the people who got better grades than me, who were better in sports, who had boyfriends when I did not. I forgive the ones who did wrong to me by making light of my lack of financial aptitude, to the ones who made fun of me for other things, and especially for my 4th grade best friend, for abandoning me by going into a better class... (and she knows what she did in 5th grade, but I don't hate her for that anymore either).
This is really reaching... but I told a lie in kindergarten that someone shoved me and I hit my chin. I am truly sorry for this lie, because I just wanted that boy to get into trouble, which he did. In 7th grade, I did another stupid thing (similar) and my mom was very defensive and got involved. She found me out on that one and I was mortified. So to all of the people involved in these... I'm sorry. I was 100% wrong: Please forgive me.
The original Rainbow Boy truly did wrong against my person. I was confused about it and really focused my hatred of him against members of my own family. I'm sorry for this. And even though what he did was unconsionable... I actually forgive him too. And his parents, as it was really their faults for bringing up a rapist and not bringing up someone more sensitive.
The Farmer Boy and the Boyscout were both casualties after the fact, and it was a confusing time in my life. So to everyone I dated, I forgive you: Please forgive me.
18-30
I met Nelson on my 19th Birthday. He deserves his own category because everything in that period of time was tinted by him: His parents, my parents, our coworkers, our schooling, our neighbors, his depression, my anger and controlling.
To everyone associated with a negative thought or emotion in this period of my life: truly, I am sorry. Coworkers and bosses were a distinct casualty here. And again, I always thought I'd had the best reasons for hate. But hate is tiring. Grudges take up so much energy. So I forgive them, I forgive family and in-laws and classmates and Nelson. I am truly sorry for my part in the reasons that I was angry and held hatred. I humble myself here when I ask for your forgiveness.
> 30
There are a lot of men that I feel tried to use me for my youth, beauty, intelligence, etc. To the ones I simply dated: I never hated you, but certainly was upset when you didn't call back. So I forgive you for that. To the ones who I was in a relationship with: wow... y'all made a huge impact on my life, and though I had a commitment in my sights, neither of you did. I was truly in love, and it hurts to have that taken willingly, but not returned. The only thing left for me to do is to forgive you ... and ask if you can pray for me that I will one day be strong enough to ask forgiveness for my part (my weakness, my faltering, my deep seeded desire to be loved).
Also a number of coworkers have fallen victim to my jabber-jaws... While it's true that I "only" point out things that are true... it's not very nice. And therefore I always question and feel insecure, that someone is judging me the same way... which they probably do, and have. I ask that they would find it in my heart to forgive. Even when I feel wronged.. .maybe they do too.
Funny - I'm listening to the radio, and they're asking parents for advice if they could go back and do it all over. They all said "I'd go back and not be so judgmental"... talk about timing.
Anyways, I'm sorry for the wrong I've done.. and I've done a lot of it. But I would also like to ask for a blanket pardon. And my heart has to be truly in the right place for that pardon. So I humble myself and pray that God, in his wisdom, would allow me to make things right by praying for the situations in question.
The most I can ever hope for is for God to allow me to be forgiven one day. Until then I'll keep trying.
Peace,
Dot.
Here's the devotional so you can read it yourself...
So why am I still talking? Because it is necessary for me to first forgive, and then ask forgiveness for my judgments, my instances of hating some people. Even though I thought i was totally justified at the time... another day CANNOT go by without my making things right.
Pre-18 years old:
I do not hate the people who got better grades than me, who were better in sports, who had boyfriends when I did not. I forgive the ones who did wrong to me by making light of my lack of financial aptitude, to the ones who made fun of me for other things, and especially for my 4th grade best friend, for abandoning me by going into a better class... (and she knows what she did in 5th grade, but I don't hate her for that anymore either).
This is really reaching... but I told a lie in kindergarten that someone shoved me and I hit my chin. I am truly sorry for this lie, because I just wanted that boy to get into trouble, which he did. In 7th grade, I did another stupid thing (similar) and my mom was very defensive and got involved. She found me out on that one and I was mortified. So to all of the people involved in these... I'm sorry. I was 100% wrong: Please forgive me.
The original Rainbow Boy truly did wrong against my person. I was confused about it and really focused my hatred of him against members of my own family. I'm sorry for this. And even though what he did was unconsionable... I actually forgive him too. And his parents, as it was really their faults for bringing up a rapist and not bringing up someone more sensitive.
The Farmer Boy and the Boyscout were both casualties after the fact, and it was a confusing time in my life. So to everyone I dated, I forgive you: Please forgive me.
18-30
I met Nelson on my 19th Birthday. He deserves his own category because everything in that period of time was tinted by him: His parents, my parents, our coworkers, our schooling, our neighbors, his depression, my anger and controlling.
To everyone associated with a negative thought or emotion in this period of my life: truly, I am sorry. Coworkers and bosses were a distinct casualty here. And again, I always thought I'd had the best reasons for hate. But hate is tiring. Grudges take up so much energy. So I forgive them, I forgive family and in-laws and classmates and Nelson. I am truly sorry for my part in the reasons that I was angry and held hatred. I humble myself here when I ask for your forgiveness.
> 30
There are a lot of men that I feel tried to use me for my youth, beauty, intelligence, etc. To the ones I simply dated: I never hated you, but certainly was upset when you didn't call back. So I forgive you for that. To the ones who I was in a relationship with: wow... y'all made a huge impact on my life, and though I had a commitment in my sights, neither of you did. I was truly in love, and it hurts to have that taken willingly, but not returned. The only thing left for me to do is to forgive you ... and ask if you can pray for me that I will one day be strong enough to ask forgiveness for my part (my weakness, my faltering, my deep seeded desire to be loved).
Also a number of coworkers have fallen victim to my jabber-jaws... While it's true that I "only" point out things that are true... it's not very nice. And therefore I always question and feel insecure, that someone is judging me the same way... which they probably do, and have. I ask that they would find it in my heart to forgive. Even when I feel wronged.. .maybe they do too.
Funny - I'm listening to the radio, and they're asking parents for advice if they could go back and do it all over. They all said "I'd go back and not be so judgmental"... talk about timing.
Anyways, I'm sorry for the wrong I've done.. and I've done a lot of it. But I would also like to ask for a blanket pardon. And my heart has to be truly in the right place for that pardon. So I humble myself and pray that God, in his wisdom, would allow me to make things right by praying for the situations in question.
The most I can ever hope for is for God to allow me to be forgiven one day. Until then I'll keep trying.
Peace,
Dot.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Woulda Shoulda Coulda
My White Night, Synoptic, just emailed. Poor guy just got dissed by a gal who was interested in him at first, and now doesn't give him the time of day.
I noted last year in this post, that Syno.ptic was someone who's always been there. I think I had a crush on him since we met back in 2000. Of course I never acted on this crush... never stopped thinking about it... but never ever said anything to make Synoptic think that I would be less than honorable toward him.
M.W. and I fought horribly about my visiting Synoptic a few summers back - apparently he saw what I would not admit - a deep care and concern for Synoptic that I've felt for few folks in my entire life.
So I consoled Synoptic about this gal who dissed him... He emailed back and said that if he didn't love his location and I didn't love mine so very much... "I daresay we would make a go of it". Thanks, I'll keep that in the back of my mind.
++++
Wait a second...isn't this the same man who was so rude to me on vacation last year? Um... yeah. He's gonna need to get a clue if he wants to woo me!
I noted last year in this post, that Syno.ptic was someone who's always been there. I think I had a crush on him since we met back in 2000. Of course I never acted on this crush... never stopped thinking about it... but never ever said anything to make Synoptic think that I would be less than honorable toward him.
M.W. and I fought horribly about my visiting Synoptic a few summers back - apparently he saw what I would not admit - a deep care and concern for Synoptic that I've felt for few folks in my entire life.
So I consoled Synoptic about this gal who dissed him... He emailed back and said that if he didn't love his location and I didn't love mine so very much... "I daresay we would make a go of it". Thanks, I'll keep that in the back of my mind.
++++
Wait a second...isn't this the same man who was so rude to me on vacation last year? Um... yeah. He's gonna need to get a clue if he wants to woo me!
Have Hope or... Are you there God? It's me, Dorothy...
Riding my bike home from a trail-trek with Othello this morning... we had breakfast. He went on about how he is soulsearching and attempting to find out who he is. Then Othello criticized my dating men 10 years older than me. (Even though that's only 44, which is pretty young, if you ask me).
I'd all but given up on the hope that I would have a partner, a lover, a co-equal and a co-parent. Othello WAS all that I'd wanted... but it didn't work out... it would not have worked out even if we had been okay with what we'd had... because there was a lack of compatibility, because there was a difference of goals, I could go on and on and on.
So why hope, all of a sudden? The night I came back to Othello, I prayed so hard that I was doing the right thing. We went for a walk and I saw this car with plates that said "Fere Not"... Back then, I had a sign, a confirmation that I was not to be afraid of entering into that relationship. Today... I saw a car with plates saying "HavHope"...
So I decided to Praise the Lord and not give up hope...
Peace,
Dot.
BTW... if anyone knows a guy under 45, who wants a successful, stable gal, and to have kids... do let me know, okay???
I'd all but given up on the hope that I would have a partner, a lover, a co-equal and a co-parent. Othello WAS all that I'd wanted... but it didn't work out... it would not have worked out even if we had been okay with what we'd had... because there was a lack of compatibility, because there was a difference of goals, I could go on and on and on.
So why hope, all of a sudden? The night I came back to Othello, I prayed so hard that I was doing the right thing. We went for a walk and I saw this car with plates that said "Fere Not"... Back then, I had a sign, a confirmation that I was not to be afraid of entering into that relationship. Today... I saw a car with plates saying "HavHope"...
So I decided to Praise the Lord and not give up hope...
Peace,
Dot.
BTW... if anyone knows a guy under 45, who wants a successful, stable gal, and to have kids... do let me know, okay???
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Moving on.. but still mourning My Beloved.....
No matter how I move forward in my life.... my beloved Othello is always there. Last night I asked him why he still felt so close to me. We both decided that it's because we still feel like partners. That's messed up because we broke up and don't want to get back together. He thinks I require too much attention.
I'm having a ball with all of the gentlemen calling on me these days. El Guapo spent a good chunk of time with me in the late morning/early afternoon. In fact, there is quite a bit of chemistry between us. To the point where it was necessary for me to say that I couldn't be with him if there was not a distinct possibility of children in our future.
So the question for tomorrow's episode is this: Can Dorothy actually walk away from someone who she is starting to fall for, only because he doesn't think he wants children?
Okay.. keep me in your prayers, please?
Thanks.
Dot
And this is creating distance how? It just hit me again like a ton of bricks.
He said "We were sooooooo close. But I wasn't in love with you and couldn't give you what you needed from me".
I'm having a ball with all of the gentlemen calling on me these days. El Guapo spent a good chunk of time with me in the late morning/early afternoon. In fact, there is quite a bit of chemistry between us. To the point where it was necessary for me to say that I couldn't be with him if there was not a distinct possibility of children in our future.
So the question for tomorrow's episode is this: Can Dorothy actually walk away from someone who she is starting to fall for, only because he doesn't think he wants children?
Okay.. keep me in your prayers, please?
Thanks.
Dot
Sunday, July 01, 2007
First Date Disasters '07: Take 1 or Conquistadoro!
I met a Spanish Conquistador. We clicked. He asked me out on a date. This is our first date (I swear to God, every syllable is the truth).
[Scene 1: We ended up meeting in a "super-top-secret" parking garage I found - close, free, and totally hidden from view unless you knew it was there.]
Upon getting out of our cars, el Guapo moved toward me, looked me up and down... and placed one hand on the back of my head, the other hand on my shoulder.... looking deep into my eyes... he said "you're beautiful" .... Swoon. Then we hugged.
end of scene 1
[Scene 2: Walking to the Pub/Sitting in the Pub]
El Guapo ordered drinks and paid for them. We found a place to sit and browsed through the local free liberal newspaper. It's officially titled the "Sacramento News & Review" but we decided that it needs to be titled "The Midtown Rant & Vitriol". Haha. He ordered food and paid for it... see a pattern here?
A woman complimented my shoes, el Guapo complimented my eyeglasses and says that looking over the top of the rims is provocative. We eat our dinner, chatting and laughing, talking about exs and his kids and our failed marriages (one each). He told me that I eat analytically. Cute. I tried to be ladylike - glad he noticed.
During dinner, el Guapo asked me how I hold hands. He put his hand up and I took it. He said "You're RIGHT! That's the right way... women who hold hands wrong... there's something wrong with them..." So we held hands and chatted and flirted for a while longer. Then it was time to go, and he asked if I'd like to go for a walk.
end of scene 2
[Scene 3: Walking and the Capitol Rose Garden]
It is 7 blocks from the pub to the Capitol, but it's my one-trick-pony trick. Men love to act romantic in a romantic setting (Guys, I know you do). We walked and talked... talked and walked all of the way holding hands, as I navigated us to the rose garden. This is my home turf and el Guapo knows it. He asked me if I was going to mettle with his virtues. I told him I was going to take him to a burnt-down trailer... "heh-heh".
We got to my favorite entrance of the rose garden and I told him that the last time I was there, it was strewn with rose-petals on the sidewalk, all of the way to the fountain, as there had just been a wedding there. El Guapo asked me to show him my favorite rose, and I told him the ones that smell like raspberries are my favorite. I took off my shoes to walk in the grass and he wandered over to get a better vantage point of the moon.
He pulled me over to the Vietnam Memorial and told me about his crazy uncle and how messed up he was when he came home from that war. We expressed our political views and then sat on a bench, just soaking up the scent of roses, the sound of trickling water, and the nearly full moon. El Guapo pulled his knee up and scooted around so I could lay my head on his shoulder. He put both arms around me and kissed my neck.
I got up and el Guapo pulled my head to the side and kissed me. Sweet Surrender! I wanted to feel something in the moment that I was first kissed by someone other than Othello. But I didn't feel anything. (Big frowny face here). But I did keep my head about me and didn't do anything stupid, which was good.
More walking, more stopping, more hands on my waist. I slapped them once. He held me close, looked deep into my eyes and kissed me on the lips. It was such an intimate moment, as satisfying smack.... but I thought it was a little slutty, so I didn't return the kiss with as much gusto as it had been given. He kissed all over my face and then said "Oh my ... I have to step away before I get all grabby". It was nice of him to be so gentlemanly.
Walking back to our cars... we encountered a bachelorette party. They offered to take our picture, as seen here:
Did I mention that it was windy that night.
end of scene 3
[Scene 4: End of date, approaching the super-secret parking garage]
El Guapo asked what would happen if the parking garage had closed - it was now almost 3 hours later. I said that would be bad. He said "It would be fine... we would just roll with it." How f-ing fortuitous... because that is just what happened.
He said he would just call a cab. We both had to work Saturday morning and he was going to be pretty close. We decided to meet for lunch on Saturday. Meanwhile, I called Othello to come and get me.
Before anyone has a heart-attack and starts throwing sharp objects toward me... you must know that O is still my best friend (however difficult that is... it's what it is...). He dropped everything and came to get me. I pretty much bolted when he got there, because O said it was tacky of me to stand there with el Guapo. I screamed and cried at Othello because he would never ever respect el Guapo or anyone else, if they didn't wait with me and make sure I was safe.
Alrighty... so the next day I chatted with el Guapo, went to where he was working, and had a nice lunch. I got a sweet hug and a kiss, and he said "I'll see you again soon?" Okay...
end of scene 4
Okay. That last part was weird. Does that mean a good thing or a bad thing? Ahh... the humanity! I hate when I can't exactly read a date. I like el Guapo, but there are no feelings yet. Time, I know sen-sae. Hope you liked my first-date recreation...
[the] grasshoppah
[Scene 1: We ended up meeting in a "super-top-secret" parking garage I found - close, free, and totally hidden from view unless you knew it was there.]
Upon getting out of our cars, el Guapo moved toward me, looked me up and down... and placed one hand on the back of my head, the other hand on my shoulder.... looking deep into my eyes... he said "you're beautiful" .... Swoon. Then we hugged.
end of scene 1
[Scene 2: Walking to the Pub/Sitting in the Pub]
El Guapo ordered drinks and paid for them. We found a place to sit and browsed through the local free liberal newspaper. It's officially titled the "Sacramento News & Review" but we decided that it needs to be titled "The Midtown Rant & Vitriol". Haha. He ordered food and paid for it... see a pattern here?
A woman complimented my shoes, el Guapo complimented my eyeglasses and says that looking over the top of the rims is provocative. We eat our dinner, chatting and laughing, talking about exs and his kids and our failed marriages (one each). He told me that I eat analytically. Cute. I tried to be ladylike - glad he noticed.
During dinner, el Guapo asked me how I hold hands. He put his hand up and I took it. He said "You're RIGHT! That's the right way... women who hold hands wrong... there's something wrong with them..." So we held hands and chatted and flirted for a while longer. Then it was time to go, and he asked if I'd like to go for a walk.
end of scene 2
[Scene 3: Walking and the Capitol Rose Garden]
It is 7 blocks from the pub to the Capitol, but it's my one-trick-pony trick. Men love to act romantic in a romantic setting (Guys, I know you do). We walked and talked... talked and walked all of the way holding hands, as I navigated us to the rose garden. This is my home turf and el Guapo knows it. He asked me if I was going to mettle with his virtues. I told him I was going to take him to a burnt-down trailer... "heh-heh".
We got to my favorite entrance of the rose garden and I told him that the last time I was there, it was strewn with rose-petals on the sidewalk, all of the way to the fountain, as there had just been a wedding there. El Guapo asked me to show him my favorite rose, and I told him the ones that smell like raspberries are my favorite. I took off my shoes to walk in the grass and he wandered over to get a better vantage point of the moon.
He pulled me over to the Vietnam Memorial and told me about his crazy uncle and how messed up he was when he came home from that war. We expressed our political views and then sat on a bench, just soaking up the scent of roses, the sound of trickling water, and the nearly full moon. El Guapo pulled his knee up and scooted around so I could lay my head on his shoulder. He put both arms around me and kissed my neck.
I got up and el Guapo pulled my head to the side and kissed me. Sweet Surrender! I wanted to feel something in the moment that I was first kissed by someone other than Othello. But I didn't feel anything. (Big frowny face here). But I did keep my head about me and didn't do anything stupid, which was good.
More walking, more stopping, more hands on my waist. I slapped them once. He held me close, looked deep into my eyes and kissed me on the lips. It was such an intimate moment, as satisfying smack.... but I thought it was a little slutty, so I didn't return the kiss with as much gusto as it had been given. He kissed all over my face and then said "Oh my ... I have to step away before I get all grabby". It was nice of him to be so gentlemanly.
Walking back to our cars... we encountered a bachelorette party. They offered to take our picture, as seen here:
Did I mention that it was windy that night.
end of scene 3
[Scene 4: End of date, approaching the super-secret parking garage]
El Guapo asked what would happen if the parking garage had closed - it was now almost 3 hours later. I said that would be bad. He said "It would be fine... we would just roll with it." How f-ing fortuitous... because that is just what happened.
He said he would just call a cab. We both had to work Saturday morning and he was going to be pretty close. We decided to meet for lunch on Saturday. Meanwhile, I called Othello to come and get me.
Before anyone has a heart-attack and starts throwing sharp objects toward me... you must know that O is still my best friend (however difficult that is... it's what it is...). He dropped everything and came to get me. I pretty much bolted when he got there, because O said it was tacky of me to stand there with el Guapo. I screamed and cried at Othello because he would never ever respect el Guapo or anyone else, if they didn't wait with me and make sure I was safe.
Alrighty... so the next day I chatted with el Guapo, went to where he was working, and had a nice lunch. I got a sweet hug and a kiss, and he said "I'll see you again soon?" Okay...
end of scene 4
Okay. That last part was weird. Does that mean a good thing or a bad thing? Ahh... the humanity! I hate when I can't exactly read a date. I like el Guapo, but there are no feelings yet. Time, I know sen-sae. Hope you liked my first-date recreation...
[the] grasshoppah
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