Twenty Days a-falling... a-falling "with intent" with you.....

Not YOU you... More like Othello-you. I'm not exactly sure how to describe these days of mine... but it's not love and not lust. After some long talks over the weekend, we discovered that we like eachother "with intent". Intent means that we're lookin' at a future, want the same things, and we intend to achieve them together, if at all possible.

Wait, let's back up.... our weekend was wonderful. He had a key made for me so that I can come over and do my laundry when he's not there. He shares nicely, buys dinner for me, thanks me for cooking for him, and... Othello-man made out with me like a high-schooler at the Train concert at the Greek Theatre in Berkley on Saturday evening. We kissed for 3 hours and the look on his face was "I'm fallin' for ya, girl!"

I can feel that my heart hasn't fallen, although everything else has. It's not just common goals that sets us apart. It's the fact that even when we know it's going to take a lot of changing and growing if we're going to stay together forever...

This one, this Othello (every time I write his name, I say his real name with stars and hearts in my mind)... is a keeper.

--Dot.

Thirty Pieces of Flair

This weekend gave several too many references to the movie "office space". So here's my 30 pieces of flair. Number 8 is my favorite so far... 15 is pretty good.

1. Othello and I spent all day each day, all weekend together. In fact, I can't remember if there's been a day we haven't seen eachother since the day he affectionatly refers to as "the day you came back to me".
2. We both made the accidental "I love you" slip. Mine when I meant to say "I love when you say my name" and his when he meant to say "I love that you enjoy plaing video games." But they both came out as "I love you" and then we each acted embarassed, recanted, and said "you know what I meant" and then re-said what was intended.
3. Somewhere between him taking me shopping for a new cell phone and when he offered to take me for the grocery store, I decided he was a keeper.
4. Somewhere between Sushi and SG-1's 200th episode, Othello mentioned that he took his profile off of the dating website where we met.
5. Somewhere between SG-1's 200th episode and ice-cream pie, he looked deep into my eyes, and asked if I would do the same.
6. After a lengthy discussion on my part about why we shouldn't be exclusive... I realized that the only reason to fight about it was that this little Dorothy is still terrified of another bad "serious" boyfriend, or even worse, another bad husband.
7. Around midnight, I realized I was being silly and drifted to sleep on his sofa (alone).
8. Sometime after 1:00 am, I awoke to see a t-shirt next to me - one that I could choose to change into, should I wake before dawn. Didn't read it, but the next morning as Othello made juice and toast for me (to my chagrin, as I hate how that may have looked), it was pointed out that the t-shirt logo says "Frequent Masterbator". ROTFLMAO. Seriously.
9. CHANGE OF TOPICS (continuing the post a day later)- I'm headed to see a Train Concert this weekend with O. We're spending the Day is SF first. Sigh.
10. Next weekend, I'm going to spend the whole thing with my bestest friend from college, Francine, and her husband and folks.
11. There is a funny poster I saw at the post office on Monday. It was called "Wonders of America: Land of Superlatives". Don't you now wonder what a superlative is? Look it up: superlative.
12. I had a dinner party last night with Othello, my friend/coworker JB, and the upstairs neighbor, Destiny. They all liked O. They all liked my bbq'd chicken, homemade salad dressing, homemade croutons, baked potatoes, and bottles of wine.
13. My dinner party last night was the stuff of ledgends. If we were Klingons, they would make an epic poem, a song if you will, and remember the night for generations to come!
14. We watched a movie called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I don't recommend it if you're sensitive to handgun violence. Given my past history with Nelson's gun-waving in my face. I'm sure it's a relic of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
15. (It's more difficult to come up with 30 pieces of flair than I thought). Homemade Tiramisu. Nuff said.
16. It's nice to be thinking about my babies again. At dinner a few nights ago, Othello asked why there are blocky letters that say "OZ" on my table. Those are the first initials of my gonna-be babies.
17. It's also nice to have the freedom of thinking that I'll be able to get married again. M.W. became opposed first to having babies, then to getting married, that I would cry every time I passed a bridal boutique. Now, in my head, I'm revisiting what a wedding would look like in this day and age.
18. It's hard to say you're in love again, when you want to be certain.
19. Yesterday was my boss's birthday and I knew it but didn't mention it. I'm going to say something shortly.
20. Othello has a really nice first name and it's fun to say. It makes me happy and I want to use it here.
21. Jayleigh is the quintessential pastor's wife. Rob is the bomb as a pastor. I'm so proud of them both.
22. I'm not certain if Othello is religious at all. Something in me is afraid to ask. Something else in me is afraid to know. And I want it to work out so much, not sure if wild horses would be successful in tearing me away at this point.
23. Working is over-rated. Productivity is essential, but difficult when you're in a tall cubicle and people aren't quiet when they're talking, because they can't see you.
24. I want saloon doors for my cubicle. And one of those green see-thru visors. And two water-pistols on a hip holser.
25. When I have a bad day, I want to challenge my coworkers to a duel.
26. Othello does for a living, what I was going to school for, when I lived in Oklahoma. He looked at my work project and said he could do that in a week (we've been working on it for over a year).
27. I'm challenged by certain parts of my work, and fear that if I'm not successful, it will be difficult to have self-respect.
28. All of the comments from my loyal readers are wonderful. I'm a bad blog-friend and try to read others' postings.
29. M.W. called yesterday and said I was self-absorbed. He's right and I know it. I'm a bad real-friend too.
30. Choo-Choo Charlie (engaged to the Russian Bride) called me last night at 2 AM. He broke up with her, wanted to see me, was happy for me when I told him about Othello, and was somehow tangled up with the Russian Mafia a few weeks ago. Bleh. THANK GOD FOR UNANSWERED PRAYERS!

- Dot.

Board Games @ Midnight...

It didnt' happen at all like I thought it would:

• Bravo stopped calling; I got sick of it
• I called Othello; he invited me over for a moonlit walk
• Bravo begged me for another chance; I said I'd wait for him till he was better
• He still calls only intermittantly; went out for drinks with another woman and said he was too drunk to call me the other night
• Meanwhile Othello called every day when I was sick; brought DVDs, CDs, juice, 7-up and chicken soup over after work every night
• I've seen Othello every day for a week.

So that's the end of Charlie Bravo and the beginning of Othello. O is incredibly communicative and the more time we spend together, the more I like him.

Let's see where this one leads?

Time Machine

Dedadedadedadedade (think of the noise they made in Wayne's World)
We are now entering the way back maschine to This Tuesday Last.... on the second date of Dorothy and Bravo:

Sitting on Dorothy's chaise lounge, Bravo was stroking Dot's leg with his foot. She thought it was so sensual, and then Bravo said "This is the most sensual moment this far in my life..." Dorothy was feeling significant when she asked if he could do anything at that moment... what would it be? (she was hoping for a kiss - they had not shared one yet).

Bravo said "I would stop time and enjoy this moment for a lifetime"....

Sigh.

Dedadedadedadedade ....
Back to present.

Sigh.

Laid to Waste

This morning was the last place I was looking for spiritual guidance. Actually I never even think of it at work.... And Elf comes in, asks me about my recent dating life (I felt so tossed and turned dating three at once)....

Then he shared this with me:

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

It laid my soul to waste.... God? I got nothin'.

I haven't been able to discern why Bravo is the guy who spoke to my heart and soul - barely even have feelings for the guy, let alone love.... He's different than anyone I've ever known.

Little by little, I feel the stones falling from my wall. He doesn't scare me. Bravo is non-threatening. In many ways, he's a lot like me - strong work ethic, gives himself a hard time for not doing the right things.... His own worst critic.

I might understand him. He might understand me. Nice.

And it seems that the more I let go and let God... the better support I have here at the office, and in life. (Thanks Jesus, for Duckies).

--Dot.

Conservation and Conservatives do not a Romantic Evening Make

Charlie Bravo is a conservative. His exact words to me last night, while we were grilling giant hunks of red meat in my back yard, was "George W. Bush is, like, the best president we've had since Ronald Regan." Also the words "We should Bomb Iran" were heard.

I am a semi-conservative tree hugger. You can bet that this didn't roll well with me. Romantic evening. Wine. Meat. Okay, some salad too (avocadoes, red onion, bacon, strawberries, baby spinach, mustard-balsamic vinaigrette)... and Mister Conservative Right Wing Bravo at my side.

Well at what point does one say "I don't really care about politics" and "Shut up and kiss me"? Yeah, alright, we got there too... but there were some moments hanging in the balance where I wondered if I was going to send him home with his food wrapped in foil.

This morning I'm nursing a cold. Funny thing about that - Bravo had a cold last night.... Sigh. Butterflies, uncertainties, conservative politics... Lots to think about.

Dot.

A Long Story

It all started with three dates in three days with three different men.

Garbageman-boy is 6' 5" and works upstairs from me and we met online, but also ran into eachother in the market about 20 minutes later. Went out Thursday and Saturday of last week. Sweet, cute, called me a "gorgeous babe" and said I have "quaint feet" - size 8. His are (get this ladies) size 15! But he's largely unmotivated and his hands are exact duplicates of Nelson's and it disturbed me.

Charlie Bravo is a human version of the cartoon character Johnny Bravo. Seriously. Look at his picture:

See what I mean? :-) We went out Sunday and Tuesday. Unfortunately his car was broken in to and he lost all of his CDs. Fortunately, I have a wicked music collection and let him peruse it after dinner Saturday. Hmm.... he played footsies with me while both of us had our feet on the coffee table... it was so sweet, I just looked at him and we totally smooched! It was really nice. Then he bodily picked me up (me, seriously. As a tall German, big-boned and built for comfort, not speed, I'm not light) and carried me to the kitchen for another beer. (swoon).

Meanwhile, Othello and I had a date already planned for Monday. He was sweet and we had lots of things in common. But he was way forward, and I already wanted to see Bravo again anyways.

So Charlie Bravo it is! I took a few days of heart-breaking, but Bravo is coming over on Saturday after work and I'm cooking dinner for him.

--

On other fronts:

I miss my family so much.

Work is good, but I feel ineffectual since my program is stuck in testing until wildfire season is over.

School is an exciting prospect, but again, I'm nervous.

Gonna see that Al Gore movie soon. Can't get there when you're dating 1000 people at once. LOL

Peace, and have a nice weekend. I'm off to the Pumpkin Patch for a wedding this afternoon.

Dot.