My work friend, Babs, has cancer. It's her fourth time with breast cancer. I was all set to write about my acceptance to a PhD program at a major university... but all I can think about is Babs.
She's the town Mom. She's there for everyone. Buys us lunch out of her own pocket for our birthdays. Takes us to basketball games at night and makes us coffee in the morning. An all-around class act (even if she babbles and perhaps even gossips a lot).
Babs had surgery last week, and it was a lot more invasive than was anticipated. She said it was just a biopsy and the real surgery is next week. Deep breath for me. I can't believe this. Another friend, Andie, went with me tonight and we just watched TV and ate pizza and watched "Dancing With The Stars" and "American Idol".
In the car on the way home, Andie and I both agreed to spend every Thursday night with her until she's back at work. She just accepted another job with another agency... but we've vowed to be with her and help to keep her normal.
Neither of us said it... but we both thought it: even now, we are kind of scared to have too much hope. But Babs is like Mom to all of us and we're not going to abandon her in her time of need.
We raised $200 for her today. Everyone else was circulating a "Flower Fund".. but we thought it would give her some peace of mind to have extra $$$ to pay bills with. I'm genuinely surprised and touched by the generosity of my friends.
Peace.
Dot.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
Travis the Bachelor...
Looks like my highschool boyfriend. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it... because Jean-Luc meant so much to me. The timing was so bad and our lives were going in different directions.
Ten years later, Jean-Luc named his first son after my tom-boy nickname. It's not exactly common, and I know he was thinking of me. Yes... I know that I hurt him. That's a fact. And I'm sorry for it. The fact is, he didn't deserve the pain I put him through, and I should've just been a grown-up and parted ways when things didn't feel right.
But also, Travis the Bachelor seems like a really good guy. Just like Jean-Luc. I wish both men all the happiness in the world. From now on, no regrets.
(and probably not quite so much beer, either).
Peace.
Dot.
Ten years later, Jean-Luc named his first son after my tom-boy nickname. It's not exactly common, and I know he was thinking of me. Yes... I know that I hurt him. That's a fact. And I'm sorry for it. The fact is, he didn't deserve the pain I put him through, and I should've just been a grown-up and parted ways when things didn't feel right.
But also, Travis the Bachelor seems like a really good guy. Just like Jean-Luc. I wish both men all the happiness in the world. From now on, no regrets.
(and probably not quite so much beer, either).
Peace.
Dot.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Do You 'doku?
Sudoku. Try it. Do it. Like it.
I have a Sudoku Calendar on my desk at work. A few weeks ago, I gave some of my extras to a security guard and he got totally hooked.
All of a sudden, all of the security guards are saying hello to me, waving, smiling, flirting. Apparently they are all doing 'doku and have only me to thank for getting them hooked!
LOL.
Never thought this back-a$$-words girl from the sticks would be a trend-setter. But apparently I am.
Who knew?
I have a Sudoku Calendar on my desk at work. A few weeks ago, I gave some of my extras to a security guard and he got totally hooked.
All of a sudden, all of the security guards are saying hello to me, waving, smiling, flirting. Apparently they are all doing 'doku and have only me to thank for getting them hooked!
LOL.
Never thought this back-a$$-words girl from the sticks would be a trend-setter. But apparently I am.
Who knew?
It's Never as Bad as I Think It's Going to Be... (Parts I, II, and III)
Part I
I went to meet my friend Jeffrey-Anne yesterday, in the Delta. As you might well assume, Jeffrey-Anne once was a Jeffrey, and now is an Anne. When I lived in the Plains, Jeffrey and I dated once or twice. When he came out to me as Anne in hiding, I was floored; Jeffrey was soooo macho.
So now fully entrenched in the Anne lifestyle and appearance, Jeffrey-Anne is acting and looking just like a woman. I was apprehensive about the meeting, although M.W. and I met with Jeffrey-Anne once before. Not sure what the day of shopping and lunch would bring... it made us both laugh when we were creeped out by going into the same bathroom! LOL. She just wants to be happy, and I wish her all of the Happiness in the World!
Part II
As I was leaving the parking lot yesterday, I called M.W. (He'd called me several times during my afternoon, so I decided to indulge in a call-back. Remember the rule is that he has to call you 4 times for every time you call him). Anyhow, he knew that I was already halfway to where he lives, and he invited me over for dinner (a flagrant disregard for the Rules here, as we only accept dates for Saturday that are made by Wednesday). Although he was hankering for more than dinner... that's all it was.
You couldn't imagine how awesome it was to respect myeslf for sticking to my guns and walking away with my morals, my self-respect, and my head held high!
And I didn't even believe how much he loves me. Even though times are tough, it's not for a lack of love. (Good souvenirs from his trip to Atlanta, including something I'd admired from San Diego but was too cheap to buy for myself). Every time I think we're going to have some kind of knock-down drag-out hell-0f-a-bad fight.... he diffuses it and holds me and strokes my hair and tells me how grateful we are to have a chance to be together.
We then prayed together for half-an-hour before I took a nap and then went home. Before 8 pm.
Nice Day. Pray for me to keep my eyes on the goals He wants for me in my life. And to keep my hope and spirits up. Things are going great otherwise. Which brings me to.....
Part III
My trip to Davis to check out grad school last week went marvelously. From Girl-Prof-From-Michigan who totally supports women in academics to Prof-Who-is-My-Intellectual-Soulmate who asked me to consider going for a PhD, if he could pay for it with his research.
Um... you did hear that right, but my heart just skipped a beat when I typed it. Yes... in all, four of my Profs-to-Be asked me to go straight for the PhD and skip the M.S. Degree!!!!!!!!! They think I'm qualified, hard-working, and have the right resources.
Yay me! Yay God!
Yay Jesus, for Duckies!!! (see Jayleigh's blog for Duckie-dom).
Peace.
Dot.
I went to meet my friend Jeffrey-Anne yesterday, in the Delta. As you might well assume, Jeffrey-Anne once was a Jeffrey, and now is an Anne. When I lived in the Plains, Jeffrey and I dated once or twice. When he came out to me as Anne in hiding, I was floored; Jeffrey was soooo macho.
So now fully entrenched in the Anne lifestyle and appearance, Jeffrey-Anne is acting and looking just like a woman. I was apprehensive about the meeting, although M.W. and I met with Jeffrey-Anne once before. Not sure what the day of shopping and lunch would bring... it made us both laugh when we were creeped out by going into the same bathroom! LOL. She just wants to be happy, and I wish her all of the Happiness in the World!
Part II
As I was leaving the parking lot yesterday, I called M.W. (He'd called me several times during my afternoon, so I decided to indulge in a call-back. Remember the rule is that he has to call you 4 times for every time you call him). Anyhow, he knew that I was already halfway to where he lives, and he invited me over for dinner (a flagrant disregard for the Rules here, as we only accept dates for Saturday that are made by Wednesday). Although he was hankering for more than dinner... that's all it was.
You couldn't imagine how awesome it was to respect myeslf for sticking to my guns and walking away with my morals, my self-respect, and my head held high!
And I didn't even believe how much he loves me. Even though times are tough, it's not for a lack of love. (Good souvenirs from his trip to Atlanta, including something I'd admired from San Diego but was too cheap to buy for myself). Every time I think we're going to have some kind of knock-down drag-out hell-0f-a-bad fight.... he diffuses it and holds me and strokes my hair and tells me how grateful we are to have a chance to be together.
We then prayed together for half-an-hour before I took a nap and then went home. Before 8 pm.
Nice Day. Pray for me to keep my eyes on the goals He wants for me in my life. And to keep my hope and spirits up. Things are going great otherwise. Which brings me to.....
Part III
My trip to Davis to check out grad school last week went marvelously. From Girl-Prof-From-Michigan who totally supports women in academics to Prof-Who-is-My-Intellectual-Soulmate who asked me to consider going for a PhD, if he could pay for it with his research.
Um... you did hear that right, but my heart just skipped a beat when I typed it. Yes... in all, four of my Profs-to-Be asked me to go straight for the PhD and skip the M.S. Degree!!!!!!!!! They think I'm qualified, hard-working, and have the right resources.
Yay me! Yay God!
Yay Jesus, for Duckies!!! (see Jayleigh's blog for Duckie-dom).
Peace.
Dot.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Thank Goodness it was Only a Dream
Last night I woke up in a sweat. My dream had me in a place where everyone knew they were going to die momentarily and we could clearly see that we would have no free will in the Hereafter. Someone else was controlling if and when we got food, sleep, shelter, clothing. And we were in misery. This was the Fate of everyone who was no longer alive.
When I awoke, praised Him for giving us His Son who died for us, that we would have everlasting life!!! Can you imagine how thankful I am to know for sure that the afterlife is not like my dream last night? Oh my goodness.... I was so comforted that it was not and would never be real.
Unless it was Hell. In which case, it was full of dispair and sad and dreary and like children of the 80's thought that Russia would be like, growing up during the Cold War.
Anyways, Peace and stuff. Dot. BTW.... my emotionally roller-coastering self is trying to equal out and find a place (in life) to belong.
When I awoke, praised Him for giving us His Son who died for us, that we would have everlasting life!!! Can you imagine how thankful I am to know for sure that the afterlife is not like my dream last night? Oh my goodness.... I was so comforted that it was not and would never be real.
Unless it was Hell. In which case, it was full of dispair and sad and dreary and like children of the 80's thought that Russia would be like, growing up during the Cold War.
Anyways, Peace and stuff. Dot. BTW.... my emotionally roller-coastering self is trying to equal out and find a place (in life) to belong.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Waxing Poetic and Waning Patient
Even though I knew it was a tough situation, I embarked on this journey of love in a very untraditional manner. Starting out 1500 miles apart, and ending 105 miles apart. Our hearts grew so close and now they snuff eachother out.
He's my best friend in the world, his heart beats in my chest (because two years ago, he asked me not to give up, but to make room in my heart for him) and mine in his.
There's a song on my mind tonight by Crystal Gayle called "If You Ever Change Your Mind". I can't find the lyrics anywhere.... but the refrain keeps running through my head.
I kept up the hope for a year, and things never remained in an improved state. It's the story of me. Maybe I'm not made for a happy relationship.
He's my best friend in the world, his heart beats in my chest (because two years ago, he asked me not to give up, but to make room in my heart for him) and mine in his.
There's a song on my mind tonight by Crystal Gayle called "If You Ever Change Your Mind". I can't find the lyrics anywhere.... but the refrain keeps running through my head.
I kept up the hope for a year, and things never remained in an improved state. It's the story of me. Maybe I'm not made for a happy relationship.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Simpler Times
I'm headed to my new grad school tomorrow, for 14 meetings with researchers, professors, staff and students. It started out simple enough -- set up a small tour and meet a prof or two. Look what it turned in to?
My life started out simple enough too. Dates consisted of going to the movie theater (the $1 place on the way to Lansing), perhaps some fast-food on the way home, and then cuddling and kissing on the sofa before falling asleep. Now I'm 2000 miles from home, 2000 miles from family, jetting off to some faraway place for the weekend, with no hope of settling down in the future.
Confusing, to be sure. But I get this sense of pride that the things I'm doing are for a reason. And for the right reason, at that.
One trudging step at a time. One day at a time.
Martin Luther wrote that "love is the only absolute". Earlier today I wondered if even love is an absolute. Now I'm wondering if there aren't more absolutes. Such as: God's never-ending support and love, grace and mercey.
(the unworthy) Dorothy.
My life started out simple enough too. Dates consisted of going to the movie theater (the $1 place on the way to Lansing), perhaps some fast-food on the way home, and then cuddling and kissing on the sofa before falling asleep. Now I'm 2000 miles from home, 2000 miles from family, jetting off to some faraway place for the weekend, with no hope of settling down in the future.
Confusing, to be sure. But I get this sense of pride that the things I'm doing are for a reason. And for the right reason, at that.
One trudging step at a time. One day at a time.
Martin Luther wrote that "love is the only absolute". Earlier today I wondered if even love is an absolute. Now I'm wondering if there aren't more absolutes. Such as: God's never-ending support and love, grace and mercey.
(the unworthy) Dorothy.
Bear With Me
I'm making some changes on my template. Hopefully they are for the better... but if I royally screw it up, please be patient and kindly bring them to my attention.
Thanks,
Dot.
Thanks,
Dot.
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